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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25620790">aubade</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/summernova/pseuds/summernova'>summernova</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Royalty, M/M, Romance, Strangers to Lovers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:00:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,355</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25620790</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/summernova/pseuds/summernova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the end, Jongdae chose Baekhyun, and that's all that matters.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>aubade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>so. I wrote this four years ago, for a fic fest called chenpionships. I submitted it, but just as they were going to post it, I asked them not to, out of fear of what people would think of it, and out of a lack of confidence of my own writing abilities. four years later, I've finally decided to post it. I'm still iffy on it, but I think it's important to recognize your own growth and not shun or criticize your own past works too harshly. I'm still learning how to appreciate my writing even today, and I think it's something I will always be struggling with, but I think a good step forward is to post something I'd put a lot of my heart and soul into years ago, even if I thought it was "bad" from a writing standpoint. so, I hope you enjoy. lyrics near the end are from exo-cbx's "for you."</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>aubade; a morning love song, or a song about lovers parting at dawn</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>♔ ♔ ♔</p>
</div><p>Jongdae supposes he can’t be picky with what kind of happy ending he gets. After all, what constitutes a happy ending in his eyes and in fate’s eyes can differ greatly. It probably thinks it’s doing him a favor. </p><p>It should be every man’s dream to marry their beautiful best friend. It should be the bow to a perfect love story - childhood friends engaged, falling in love. To Jongdae, it was a trap. </p><p>Lee Jieun was beautiful in every man’s eyes. She was graceful (at least in the presence of noblemen, Jongdae snorts to himself, thinking of the way she’d climb clumsily into the crook of oak trees when they were fourteen), wickedly clever, and with that perfect pinch of sass that most men liked to have in their women. Jongdae would scowl in disgust every time some distinguished, married Lord would flirt with her by telling her she was the right sort of cheekiness. Not out of jealousy, but out of the sheer fact that they made it seem like she was there to entertain them only.</p><p>He should find himself nothing other than lucky to be engaged to her. What’s more, she’d been his best friend since they could speak, finding adventures together in their respective castles. It should have been easy. It <i>should</i> be easy. </p><p>Jongdae was much more than just a man looking for an ideal happy ending with an ideal wife, however, and Jieun was more than just a woman whose sole purpose was to marry and bear royal children. Unfortunately, no one sees this but them, and no one cares but them. Least of all their parents.</p><p>Jongdae’s seated at the grand hall’s dining table, stabbing his fork into his venison when he gets the news. His father acquires his attention with a gruff clearing of his throat. </p><p>“Son,” he calls. Jongdae looks up from his meal into the king’s dark, intimidating glare.</p><p>“Father?”</p><p>“Your mother and I - we were wondering if you and Jieun have set a date.”</p><p>Jongdae’s brows furrow, lips turning down. “A date?”</p><p>“For the wedding, dear,” his mother pipes in. </p><p>“Wedding?” This time his eyes widen, and he vaguely hears the sound of his own fork clattering onto his dish. </p><p>“We’re getting old, Jongdae,” his mother says softly. “I believe it’s due time you and the princess marry, don’t you?” She says it all so casually, like she isn’t marrying her son off without his permission. </p><p>“Marry? Who said anything about marrying Jieun?” His tone rises dangerously, and he should stop himself, really, because his father won’t have any of it, but he’s too flustered to do anything about it. </p><p>“Your marriage has been set in stone since the two of you were born,” his father says. “Are you telling me you weren’t aware?”</p><p>“I wasn’t - <i>No</i>, of course I wasn’t! I… what? I’m to <i>wed</i> Lee Jieun?”</p><p>“Don’t use that tone with your King,” his mother says firmly, because as always, he is his king before he is his father. </p><p>“But I-”</p><p>“I assumed you knew,” the King says, face hardening. “All these years, you were with her. Were they not attempts to get closer to the woman you knew would be your wife come the year you turn of age?”</p><p>“No, they weren’t!” Jongdae half-yells, earning a glare from his mother. He slumps into his chair. “I - we’re just friends. We were always just friends, we never knew we would have to...marry each other.”</p><p>“Well, that’s fine as well,” the king says. “Friends is the next best thing, isn’t it?” He clears his throat in a rough manner, standing from his chair. “Anyhow - please do inform us of an appropriate date as soon as possible so we may prepare properly.” </p><p>His mother stands along with him, and Jongdae supposes he is to follow when the kitchen servants start to clamber around them, cleaning their table. He’s too stunned to do anything but direct a hard glare to the elaborately woven table cloth. </p><p>He wants to call out, to ask if they’re joking, to wonder why they’re doing this to him, but as prince, duty has always come first. He knows they’re serious. Some deep part of him knew this was coming; he just wished it came at a time he was more prepared. </p><p>And he knows, above all, that he doesn’t have a choice.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The stone walls creep in on him, echoing with his quickened footsteps. He’s walking a bit too fast, a bit too brisk, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Jaw clenched, body rigid, tension is building up inside of him much too quickly. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this overwhelmed, felt this pressured. </p><p>Before he knows it he’s pushing open the wooden doors that lead to the courtyard, uncaring of the noise it makes as it bangs against the walls from the force. The moon is bright and high in the sky tonight, casting a glow onto the courtyard as Jongdae stomps across it, a mere shadow in the night as he moves. He doesn’t have a clue where he’s headed; all he knows is that he needs space to think. </p><p>He follows the path the moon illuminates for him, blindly letting his feet guide him until he’s in the castle gardens, just beyond the courtyard. Surrounded by the floral scent of roses and flowers, he stops, and he stands there, clenching and unclenching his fists. It’s not exactly the marriage that gets to him, it’s the fact that he doesn’t have a choice, that he never is even offered one. From the moment he was born, every piece of his life was planned, with no regard to how the boy who must deal with it all will feel about it. </p><p>And it’s ridiculous really, the moment water begins to gather in his eyes from pure frustration. The helplessness he feels, the pressure that comes with the life he was born into, he scowls at the unfairness of it all. He wills himself to <i>stop</i>; he’s twenty-two now and shouldn’t be upset over this, but that’s the thing. His whole life he’s been dealing with this day in and day out, and he’s never so much as uttered a complaint, knowing his duty. Everything seems to be building up and the load is too much to bear, and he figures - damn it all, if he doesn’t get it out now, he’ll be left with this tight coil in his chest for eternity. </p><p>So he lets himself crouch low, bending his knees as his hands come to his face. He lets himself wet his hands silently, lets the exasperated tears creep down his cheeks as he comes to the realization that he has very little control over his life. </p><p>It feels as if he’s there for a good ten minutes, as his legs begin to numb from his position. He can’t help it; all of the weight from the past twenty years come crashing down on him in this one, singular moment. He feels pathetic, was always taught that tears were just weakness, that sadness was to be replaced by strength the moment it was recognized. </p><p>There’s a light pressure on his shoulder, and he jumps at the touch, shocking him enough so that he falls onto the ground. He looks up, and is alarmed to see a boy crouched besides him, hand out, eyes wide when he’s realized what he’s done.</p><p>“I’m sorry!” he whisper-yells. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”</p><p>Jongdae is stuck silent, suddenly over aware of his stained cheeks. He turns away to scrub at them with the back of his hand, attempting to get himself together. </p><p>“Are you alright?” the boy asks behind him, voice laced with worry. </p><p>“‘M fine,” Jongdae mumbles. He forces himself to stand then, cringing at the ache in his legs as he does so. </p><p>“You don’t look very fine,” the boy mutters quietly. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes,” Jongdae chokes out, watching as the boy stands up as well. “What are you doing out here anyway?”</p><p>“My job,” the boy says. “I’m the gardener.” Jongdae’s eyes focus in on him, and with the help of the moonlight, he sees the boy is young, maybe of his age. His eyes are downturned and youthful, mouth small and subtle as he speaks. Were it not for the official royal embroidery lining his tunic’s collar, Jongdae would doubt the boy’s status as the gardener. </p><p>He disguises his sniffle in between words. “Doesn’t explain why you’re out here past eleven.”</p><p>“I really like my job,” the boy says with a modest chuckle. When Jongdae gives him a bemused look, the boy scratches at his nape sheepishly. “No, really… It’s calming out here at nights. I could be asking you the same though. What’s the prince doing out here at this time? Are you sure you’re alright?” </p><p>“Quite,” Jongdae grumbles tersely, though he’s not quite sure why he’s on edge - most likely from the fact he’s embarrassed at having been caught. </p><p>The gardener looks dubious, arching an eyebrow. “I’ve been told I’m a great listener… if you ever need one.” Jongdae notices he looks wary now, eyes curious as he studies the prince. </p><p>“I’m fine,” Jongdae repeats, quieter now, less sure of himself the longer his gaze is locked with the stranger’s. “I promise you. Just some things I need to work out.”</p><p>“You don’t have to do it alone, you know. Sorry if I seem rather, er, insistent, but it’s fine to let it out. You don’t have to pretend you weren’t crying just a minute ago.”</p><p>“Crying?” Jongdae sputters, like the very idea of him doing such a thing is appalling. “I - I wasn’t - crying.”</p><p>The boy laughs a little, lips spreading into a beautiful smile. “Of course you weren’t, prince. It was the roses crying, making those soft weeping noises into the night.”</p><p>Jongdae tries to scowl, but he finds that he can’t, not with the way the boy is smiling at him. What was he upset about earlier? He suddenly can’t remember. </p><p>“That’s quite poetic actually,” Jongdae says with a defeated chuckle. The boy grins even wider, eyes sparkling with a mirth unlike anything Jongdae’s seen. He sees the galaxy in the boy’s eyes, and it entrances him. </p><p>“I’m Baekhyun,” he says, holding his hand out. “I’ve recently been employed by your court.”</p><p>“Jongdae,” the prince says, shaking his hand. He’s decided to introduce himself as just that, nothing more, simply because right now, under the strong gaze of the moon and of the boy with this blinding smile, it feels right. </p><p>“Pleased to make your acquaintance,” Baekhyun says. “Jongdae,” he adds pointedly, tilting his head in. </p><p>When their hands fall back to their sides, a silence falls over them, tense and expectant.</p><p>“It’s late,” Jongdae says. “I should, er, get going.”</p><p>Baekhyun bows just slightly, hands folded behind his back. “Sleep well, prince,” he says, hushed. The prince bows his head in return, shuffling awkwardly before brushing past the servant, back to the courtyard. He pauses mid-step, only to turn around and capture the boy’s attention once more.</p><p>“By the way,” he starts, and Baekhyun shoots his head up, curious, “I’d - I’d like it you called me Jongdae. Just Jongdae.”</p><p>The gardener smiles again, and Jongdae thinks this boy is full of never ending smiles, lighting up the night far better than even the moon is capable of. </p><p>“Of course, Jongdae,” he says, a warmth to his words. Then, he lifts his hand to give a little two finger wave. “I trust I’ll see you again?” </p><p>Jongdae can’t do anything but nod, a little shaken for some reason, but he blames that on the earlier session, the particular one where he’d sobbed into his hands. He shoots the boy a final pursed smile, before allowing his robe to billow behind him as he saunters back into the castle. His smile doesn’t leave his face for the rest of the long way, and he doesn’t have a clue why. At least, his mind is taken off of things. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jongdae is surprised to find himself, two days later, itching to meet the boy with the grand smile again. He hopes to come across him accidentally in the halls or on the curved staircases, but it seems Baekhyun spends most of his time in the gardens, only judging from how little he is seen anywhere else. He can’t help it; there had been something about him, vaguely mysterious and oddly charming, that makes him want to talk to him again - though that might have largely to do with the moonlight that night, casting them in a glow that made Jongdae feel warm inside.</p><p>He doesn’t see his parents again in those two days, thankfully. It would just be a reminder of what is to come and how helpless he is to change things. He usually doesn’t see them anyway, as they are too busy in their respective offices and handling the various affairs of the kingdom to take notice of their son. </p><p>It’s a fairly dull day when Jongdae meets him again. He’s in the library, sitting cross-legged on the carpet with piles and hills of books around him when Kyungsoo, the resident librarian, walks over with a glare on his face. </p><p>“You are planning to shelf the books once more when you’re done, aren’t you?” he asks, looking unsettled at the sight of all of his books on the floor. </p><p>“Don’t you worry a thing, Kyungsoo,” Jongdae says, never taking his gaze away from the book he’s deep into. “I’ll put them back, alright?” </p><p>Kyungsoo, with a doubtful look in his eyes, frowns, and begins to say something else, but is then interrupted by the creak of the library door being pushed open. Jongdae turns his head, along with Kyungsoo, to see a boy walk in, frowning at his finger tip. </p><p>“Kyungsoo!” he calls. “I got stung.”</p><p>“<i>Again?</i>” Kyungsoo says, exasperated as he goes over to inspect the boy’s finger. Jongdae’s heart does a funny little flip when he realizes it’s Baekhyun, the gardener. </p><p>“Come on, we’ll fix this up,” Kyungsoo says, beckoning for Baekhyun to follow him into the back room. And he does, until his eyes glaze over the room and he notices Jongdae practically hiding behind his towers of piled books. </p><p>“Hey!” he exclaims, pointing his irritated finger at the prince. “You’re here. Been wondering if I’d see you again, prince.” </p><p>“It’s...Jongdae,” he says, stupidly, and reprimands himself quietly for it afterwards. Baekhyun, however, only chuckles and bows slightly.</p><p>“My apologies, Jongdae.”</p><p>“<i>Do you want that bee sting fixed up or not?</i>” comes a large boom of a voice from the room next door. Baekhyun, with wide and alarmed eyes, raises his eyebrows at Jongdae in a <i>yikes</i> expression before he takes off to the next room. </p><p>When they return, Jongdae’s already shelved half of the pile of books he’d had around him, back into the shelves. Baekhyun saunters over with a wide grin, completely unnerving the prince. </p><p>“So,” he starts, smirk on his face, “how would you like to see the garden in daylight?” </p><p>“I’d love to, actually,” says Jongdae, “but I promised Kyungsoo I’d shelf the books when I’m done.”</p><p>“Oh, don’t mind that old bum,” Baekhyun groans, waving a hand. “We’ll leave before he even notices. I’ll come back and do it for you later.” </p><p>“I can’t ask you to do that.”</p><p>“It’s shelving books, not lugging a thirty pound wagon of cow feed up a hill. Come on. The garden looks best at this time of day.” </p><p>And before Jongdae can protest, before he can even shelf the book he’s holding, his wrist is being grabbed by gentle, nimble fingers, pulled through the aisles. Baekhyun pauses at the end of one, looking both ways, likely for a certain librarian. Once he confirms they’re safe, he pulls the prince through the door, shutting it quietly behind him.</p><p>“Kyungsoo will have your head for this,” Jongdae says. </p><p>Baekhyun shrugs nonchalantly, uncaring, and releases his grip on Jongdae’s wrist. “I’m not afraid of him,” is all he says, grinning before darting off into the halls, beckoning for Jongdae to follow. </p><p>There’s a tingle that runs up Jongdae’s spine when the boy looks back, turning around to walk backwards so that he can wave him forward. He’s sure it comes from this...this way Baekhyun is treating him, like he’s not some dainty prince. </p><p>It’s different, and Jongdae is grateful for this change, running off after him with a smile. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They find themselves on a patch of grass in between plots of soil, surrounded on both sides by flower bushes. Baekhyun lays back down onto the ground, his arms spread wide as his gaze flits across the sky, but only when they’re not shut, a soft smile on his face. Jongdae can only hope to achieve this level of peace one day. Now, however, he sits rigid besides the boy, playing with a blade of glass. </p><p>“Are you going to tell me or shall I ask first?” Baekhyun says, interrupting their silence. The gentle breeze runs through his dark hair, causing the strands to fly. </p><p>“Tell you what?”</p><p>“Why you were crying that night, of course.”</p><p>Jongdae frowns, brows furrowing. “I hardly even know you.”</p><p>“What more is there to know? I’m Baekhyun. I love flowers. I’m twenty three years old. There.”</p><p>Jongdae means to argue back, to say that’s not nearly enough to know a person - but instead he gets interrupted by a literal ball of fluff bounding in between them, jumping on Baekhyun’s face. </p><p>“Ah!” Baekhyun yelps, sitting up and grabbing at the fur ball. “Madrigal, you little -” </p><p>The small pup thrashes in his hold, squirming and reaching its head up to try and nibble at Baekhyun’s nose. The gardener laughs, holding the pup to his chest and burying his face in its fur. “You’re not supposed to be here, you little rascal.”</p><p>Jongdae stares on, confused, but also slightly in awe because of the lovable scene before him. “Who’s this?” he asks, a soft smile on his face. The puppy seems to then notice Jongdae’s existence, as it abruptly leaps away from Baekhyun and attacks the prince. </p><p>He gets a face full of long fur, sputtering when it gets into his mouth. The puppy is highly energetic, jumping at him and wriggling in his lap. </p><p>“Mad! Madrigal, stop, you crazy pup,” Baekhyun commands, laughing in between words as he pulls the animal back to his own lap. He looks at Jongdae with a sheepish smile then, running his fingers through the dog’s fur to try and calm him down. “Sorry,” he says. “He tends to get a bit hyper whenever he sees me.” </p><p>Jongdae chuckles, leaning forward to scratch at the dog’s ear. “It’s alright. His name is Madrigal, you said?” </p><p>Baekhyun nods, that sheepish expression still evident on his face. “You weren’t supposed to see this,” he says. </p><p>“And why not? He’s adorable.”</p><p>“Because I brought him inside the castle gates without permission. I made him a small little home behind one of the flower bushes and only let him out at night so that no one knows. I made an exception this morning, however, because he gave me the absolute worst puppy eyes I had ever seen. I guess I forgot when I brought you here.” </p><p>Jongdae only shakes his head, still smiling fondly. “It’s alright. I won’t tell anyone. God knows I’d hate to see this little pup without a home.” </p><p>Something flutters past them - a butterfly, making its way through the garden and ultimately capturing the attention of Madrigal, who leaps after it in yet another fit of excitement. </p><p>“Don’t wonder off too far, little one!” Baekhyun calls after him. Jongdae beams with adoration at Baekhyun’s clear fondness of the small puppy. </p><p>Seeing the light smile on the prince’s face, Baekhyun turns to him, pointing an accusing finger at him. “You’re not off the hook. I still want to know what’s bothering you.”</p><p>“Why? I mean, why would you care?”</p><p>“I don’t know. I feel like I’m responsible for you now,” Baekhyun says. </p><p>“Responsible for me?”</p><p>“Since I’m the one that found you in the gardens.”</p><p>“I assure you, you do not need to worry about anything. I was overly upset that night and frankly, a little over dramatic at how I was handling things.”</p><p>“Aha!” Baekhyun exclaims. “So there are <i>things</i>! And it’s alright if you give it a good cry now and again. Everyone has those off days where nothing seems to be working for them.”</p><p>And Jongdae doesn’t know what it is about him - perhaps his unsubtle honesty, or the comfortable way he speaks to the prince. He’s not afraid to bare it all, to confront and ask for answers, even if - Jongdae thinks - it’s really none of his business. </p><p>But he tells him anyway. He tells him because Baekhyun is so easy to <i>talk</i> to, so easy to fall into simple conversation with. In the short time he’s known him, he’s already found an ease in the way their relationship begins, effortless thanks to the casual approach the servant’s taken on him. </p><p>Afterwards, Baekhyun eyes him thoughtfully before falling back onto the grass, spreading his arms wide open once more. </p><p>“Well,” he purses his lips, “being married to your best friend doesn’t sound all that bad. Shouldn’t you consider yourself lucky it isn’t some random princess twelve kingdoms away?”</p><p>“I suppose,” Jongdae sighs, and he wonders if he’s coming off as highly spoiled or whiny to this servant boy who's probably had to deal with much more than him. <i>Oh, poor him, doomed to a marriage with a beautiful princess.</i> </p><p>But he digresses. </p><p>“I’m a rather sentimental person. I’d like to marry someone I love, someone I could dote on and who’d love me back. Jieun, she..she’s lovely and very beautiful, but there has never been a spark between us that went beyond friendship, and I think she’d agree.” </p><p>“Who the hell cares though?” Baekhyun says. “It’s not as if you’ve got to kiss her in front of the council. Isn’t the marriage just a civil union? And with your best friend at that. No one says it’s got to mean anything if you don’t want it to.”</p><p>“It has to mean something,” Jongdae sighs. “We’d be ruling an entire kingdom together for god’s sake. There has to be some backbone there, something only as strong as true, unconditional love could withstand.”</p><p>“I never realized our prince, son of the ruthless King Kim, was such a sentimental sap,” Baekhyun titters. </p><p>“Shut it,” Jongdae says, but there’s no bite in his tone. “Plus, we’d have to produce an heir. God knows how awkward that night will be. I’ve known Jieun since she was three. She’s practically my sister.” </p><p>Baekhyun makes a noise reminiscent of a walrus’s mating call. “You’re right. That sounds disgusting.”</p><p>“Doesn’t it? It’s gross.”</p><p>“Do you always talk about your best friend like this?”</p><p>“She’ll understand. We talk about the other like this all the time, even to each other. I’m sure she hates the engagement even more than I do, probably ranting off to some servant like I am right now.” </p><p>“For the record, you’re the one who came into my garden and cried, I just wanted to enjoy the flowers.” </p><p>“Right, and who’s the one who approached me that first night?”</p><p>“Well, you were bawling your eyes out. Was I supposed to just leave you crying in the garden all night?” </p><p>Jongdae doesn’t reply with anything witty back. He stays quiet for a moment, until the other boy nudges him with an elbow. </p><p>He exhales, sounding tired. “Thanks for that anyway.”</p><p>“For what? This?” He nudges Jongdae again.</p><p>“No, gods - I mean, thanks for not leaving me crying in the garden all night.” </p><p>Baekhyun blinks, clearly surprised. “Oh. Right, no problem, I suppose. It’s what any decent person would do anyway, isn’t it?”</p><p>Jongdae shrugs. “Thanks anyway. It was nice of you. And I really needed a friend that night.” </p><p>“You’re odd.”</p><p>“How’s that?”</p><p>“You thank me for something silly. It’s the middle of the day and you’re out laying in the dirty grass of the garden with some servant boy. You never reprimand me when I speak to you informally, despite us being of very different social classes.”</p><p>Jongdae half scoffs, half chuckles. </p><p>“That’s the thing though,” Jongdae adds in a softer tone, “you talk to me like I’m normal. That’s something I’d encourage rather than reprimand you for.” </p><p>“So you <i>like</i> that I speak informally to you?”</p><p>“I do. It’s refreshing. I’m not some uptight bastard who insists on everyone calling them ‘your highness’, if that’s what you thought. Clearly, it’s not what you thought, because otherwise you wouldn’t have ever talked to me like that unless you have a glutton for punishment.”</p><p>“Usually, I’m not like that. I don’t know what it is but, when I saw you crying that night, it just - it sort of showed a bit of, I don’t know, humanity? In you. Yeah. That not all these princes and princesses are always standing up straight with every hair in place and with their manners in order and always obedient. But I saw you crying there, and I was reminded, well, you’re relatively normal then. I treated you like a normal human because that’s what I saw, and I guess when you’ve seen someone crying buckets, you’ve passed a number of boundaries already, so the informal talk just stuck.” </p><p>“I’m not quite sure how to respond to that.”</p><p>“You could say ‘Oh Baekhyun, thank you for your existence and thank you for gracing me with your presence. The world would be a dull place without you.’”</p><p>He makes dramatic arm movements in the air as he speaks. Jongdae laughs and slaps his arm lightly. </p><p>“I’d rather just say you’re obnoxious and loud.” </p><p>“That is also true.” </p><p>And they leave it at that, switching the conversation to smaller, less heavy topics, such as the various shapes of the clouds, or what they had for breakfast this morning. Falling into an effortless conversation has never been so simple, Jongdae thinks, as they are able to play off of the other easily, sometimes teasing, sometimes offering words of encouragement. Baekhyun makes Jongdae laugh until he falls back onto the grass, clutching at his stomach and rolling around, and he thinks - well, when was the last time he’d felt this weightless? </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They don’t see each other for another week by then, as Jongdae is busy preparing the castle for the arrival of the Jieun’s family. He makes sure the dinner courses are chosen with the highest quality of food, he helps the servants set up the special curtains used specifically for grand parties. This is no grand party, but it might as well be. They never dressed the castle up much when Jieun’s family usually visited, but of course they must today, as it’s a very special occasion. The official announcement of the wedding of Prince Jongdae and Princess Jieun.</p><p>He takes his frustration out the way he usually does (when he’s not crying in gardens, anyway). </p><p>The arrow flies swiftly pass the board, landing somewhere off in the distance with a dull thud against the forest floor. With a stilted groan, Jongdae reaches for another, pulling it between his bow. He raises it to eye level, and tries not to shake as he aims for the small black dot. Something in him is telling him no, he won’t make it anyway, and he should stop trying. It’s the same something that seems to like reminding Jongdae every now and then that he is to be wed to his best friend in three months, maybe sooner if their parents are impatient.</p><p>As expected, the arrow follows the path of the former, missing the board by an even wider margin. Jongdae sighs, a noisy sound laced with frustration. </p><p>“They’d told me the prince was exceptional at archery,” a voice calls behind him. “It’s a well known fact of the kingdom that he is quite swift with a bow and arrow.” Baekhyun saunters up, hopping over rocks and patches of wet grass, a mischievous smile playing at his lips. “Clearly the rumors hold no substance, since most of the prince’s arrows are lying on the forest floor rather than stuck on the board.”</p><p>“I’ll have one stuck in your head, if you like,” Jongdae grumbles, setting his bow down on the tree stump. He falls in a heap against it, blowing air noisily through his lips.</p><p>“Rough day?” Baekhyun asks. </p><p>“That’s the least of it,” Jongdae responds, playing with the grass mindlessly. “Jieun’s family has just arrived this afternoon. I’m expected at dinner with them in an hour.”</p><p>“Ah,” Baekhyun says softly, “So that’s why Song Qian was having a fit in the kitchen. I’d tried to help her but she clearly thinks I’m of no use.”</p><p>“She’s right,” Jongdae chuckles. </p><p>“If it weren’t for me, the palace garden would be nothing but withered leaves and old dirt, thank you.”</p><p>“The palace garden is a pretentious and flamboyant means to make the place look even more ornate than it already is. If it were gone, it might just add a little modesty to the place.” </p><p>“Alright,” Baekhyun sighs, “it’s clearly pick-on-Baekhyun-day, so I’ll be on my merry way.” </p><p>He makes to leave, swiveling on his heel. There had been no usual tone of playfulness in Baekhyun’s words. Jongdae resists the urge to roll his eyes, because Baekhyun had started the whole conversation with making fun of his archery skills, and now he can’t seem to take the heat himself. Still, he feels he crossed a line. </p><p>“Hold on - wait,” Jongdae calls out, stumbling up from the grass. “Sorry, alright? I’m sorry. I’m just a bit tense. I’m sure the coming dinner will be nothing but forced smiles and wedding plannings and discussing what color we’d look best in. It’s not the best way to spend an evening and I’ve been on edge since this morning.” </p><p>When Baekhyun turns, there’s a smile playing on his lips. “Did you really think I was offended? It would take more than that to get through my thick skin. I’m a servant. From the moment I was born, I’ve been used to people downtalking me.” </p><p>“I - I didn’t mean to downtalk you. The garden is beautiful. I just thought - well, you’re very easy to talk to and I spoke without thinking, thinking you’d be able to handle it -”</p><p>“Prince,” Baekhyun says, “you’re rambling. I am able to handle it, I assure you. This is nothing. I was only teasing you. You’re very easy to manipulate.” He chuckles, stalking back over to where the younger stands. “It’s no wonder you’ve got yourself caught up in a marriage you didn’t want.”</p><p>It was his turn to be offended. “I wasn’t manipulated into it. It’s my duty, as heir.”</p><p>“Whatever you say, prince,” he says, and then he grins, glancing at Jongdae. “Anyone who thinks they have a duty to do something from the pure fact that they were born into that lifestyle seems pretty manipulated to me.” </p><p>“Someone’s got to do it,” Jongdae grumbles. “I just happen to be that someone.” </p><p>“How very unfortunate for you,” Baekhyun remarks. “Not that you were born into that lifestyle - but rather, how very unfortunate that you can’t seem to think for yourself and your own desires. It’s killing you, isn’t it? Knowing you’ll be wed in a few months to a woman you don’t love romantically. And yet, duty and responsibility come first in your book, always.”</p><p>“You speak selfishly,” Jongdae says. “Sometimes what your heart wants isn’t always what’s right. We’re talking about an entire Kingdom here, Baekhyun. If I don’t marry Jieun and produce an heir, there will be no future king. As prince, it’s my responsibility to make sure that doesn’t happen.”</p><p>“Here we go with the responsibility business again. What about what you want? Have you ever taken that into consideration?” </p><p>“What I want doesn’t matter,” Jongdae says now, softer. “It never has. I’m not ever allowed to think with my heart. Unlike you, who seems to only ever think with your feelings.”</p><p>“It’s true, I admit it. I’m a soft-hearted man, damn it. I know you are too, though; don’t act as if you’ve never told me about your wishes to find someone you love and rule the kingdom with them by your side.” </p><p>“Yes, but the difference between you and I is that I only speak words with no real substance. I don’t ever intend on acting on them. I dream, but I don’t live it.”</p><p>“I guess being royalty isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, is it?” </p><p>“It’s nothing like what people think.”</p><p>Baekhyun is quiet for a while, kicking at the grass lightly with his scuffed shoes. There is a tense silence that falls between them, until Baekhyun, ever the moodbreaker, adorns an excited smile, reaching for Jongdae’s bow and arrows.</p><p>“I bet you two pieces of silver that I can hit closer to the target than you can.” He throws an arrow into the air and catches it when it falls into his palm, eying the prince with mischief in his grin. Jongdae chuckles disbelievingly, and - not one to say no to a challenge - agrees. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jieun doesn’t have a clue, apparently.</p><p>At least that what Jongdae’s deduced.</p><p>She’s as lively as ever when they arrive, pulling Jongdae into a hug and exclaiming how skinny he’s gotten, like an old grandmother. She even goes so far as to pinch at his cheeks, cooing, before verbally wondering why they dressed the palace up so pretentiously today. </p><p>Jongdae can only stand, chuckling after her as she speed-walks to the dining hall (she’d claimed she was so hungry she can eat an entire cow). He doubts she knows of the engagement yet, but he’s sure she will tonight, and he’s sure she won’t like it. </p><p>In the hall, Jongdae bows, because their parents are present. Jieun’s hands are folded delicately around each other as she bows to Jongdae’s parents, putting on her best <i>princess attitude</i>.</p><p>They are led to their seats. Jieun seats herself besides Jongdae, elbowing him with an exaggerated pout. “What’s up with you? You haven’t said a word since I arrived.”</p><p>“Just tired,” is Jongdae’s excuse, and he feels guilt churn in him at the way he’s behaving towards her. She doesn’t deserve this. </p><p>He eases into conversation with her for the remainder of the dinner, their parents discussing the mundane politics. Jongdae is on edge the entire evening, worried for Jieun, about her reaction, and feeling utterly sorry that she’s likely the only one at the table who has no idea.</p><p> </p><p>And then, her mother brings it up with a grand smile, as if it’s the most exciting news Jieun will ever hear.</p><p>Jongdae lets his eyes fall shut, wishing he could just leave to avoid the entire situation.</p><p>“Sorry...what?” Jieun says, hushed, disbelieving. Jongdae clenches his fists.  </p><p>“You’re getting married, dear. Isn’t that exciting? And to Jongdae, no less.”</p><p>Jieun is struck silent besides him, and Jongdae doesn’t want to lift his head to see the expression on her face. It’s quiet and tense at the table, the room gone silent. There is various shuffling around on Jieun’s side, and just like that, the mood shifts. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I - I’m going to retire early tonight, if that’s alright,” she says, standing up abruptly. Her tone is shaken, voice stilted and unnatural. She leaves the room without another word, disregarding the stunned expressions on her parents’ faces. </p><p>He knows how she feels, and it doesn’t feel right letting her deal with this on her own whereas he only had himself. “I should go check on her,” Jongdae decides, following her out of the hall.</p><p>She’s speed walking again, dress billowing behind her as she stalks down the hallway. Jongdae calls after her, jogging up to where she now pauses, waiting for him.</p><p>“What is it?” she asks, clearly tense. </p><p>“Are you alright?” </p><p>“Jongdae - I love you, but -” she weaves a hand through her hair, biting her lip as if unsure of what to say next “- can I be alone? For now, please?” She awaits his answer, looking conflicted and confused, and Jongdae cannot blame her.</p><p>“Of course,” he mutters. “I’m sorry about all of this.”</p><p>“It’s not your doing,” Jieun sighs, frowning. “I’ll see you at breakfast.” Then she’s stalking off again, brisk and rigid, leaving Jongdae to stare at her retreating figure. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jongdae knocks on her room door after dinner is over, but Jieun makes it very clear that she does not want his company when she opens the door and mutters, <i>I’m sorry, Jongdae, truly  but honestly, you’re the last person I want to see right now.</i></p><p>He does not blame her, and he is not offended. Only saddened by what this engagement has done to them, and as he walks blindly through the darkened hallways, he worries for their friendship. </p><p>He finds himself in the first floor hall, the one lined with large, grand windows on one side. The moonlight casts itself through these windows, providing an eerie atmosphere as Jongdae ambles through.</p><p>A flurry of movement catches his eye however, and he pauses, turning left, heart race increasing just slightly. He peers through the window, at the garden, and tries to look for whatever it was that had moved. Just when he’s getting fully spooked, a figure bounds out of the flower bushes, leaping around the pavement joyously.</p><p>Jongdae grins. Madrigal. </p><p>He makes his way to the garden door then, just on the left of one of the windows, and pushes it open, bathing himself in the moonlight. Madrigal startles at the noise, but when he sees that it’s the prince, his excitement knows no bounds and he leaps over to where he is. </p><p>Jongdae’s mood immediately lifts when the pup places its paws on his legs, practically begging with his eyes to be picked up. The prince relents with a chuckle, leaning over to grab him in his arms. Just as Jongdae begins to nuzzle Madrigal into his chest, a voice rings from a distance away.</p><p>“Where’d that demon run off to now?” </p><p>And suddenly, Baekhyun appears around the bend, hand lifted over his eyes as he presumably searches for his dog. His gaze runs over the area, until eventually, it lands on Jongdae and Madrigal. He drops his hand, looking confused for a brief moment, so Jongdae waves and smiles.</p><p>“You again?” Baekhyun teases as he approaches. “Can’t get enough of me, can you?” </p><p>“I’m here for the dog,” Jongdae says, attempting a dead serious tone before he grins. </p><p>“I’ve been told I resemble a puppy, actually, so it still applies.”</p><p>“Fine. I’m here for the <i>cute</i> dog.”</p><p>“You’re too sweet on me, Jongdae, please,” Baekhyun says nonchalantly, waving a hand as he pretends to blush. The younger can only roll his eyes - and just like that, he’s in a lighter mood, heart lifted once laughter begins bubbling from his chest.</p><p>“You’re spoiling him,” Baekhyun says, pulling Madrigal away from him only to release the pup on the ground. Almost immediately, Madrigal leaps away, small paws bounding in between two flower bushes. </p><p>Baekhyun’s gaze switches to Jongdae then, and he gestures to the stone pathway. “Midnight walk?” he suggests, with a smile teetering on hopeful. Jongdae smiles, agreeing, because he couldn’t say no to a smile like that - though that’s not something he’d ever readily admit. He follows him wordlessly through the garden, quiet falling between them - but a comfortable silence, one very suited for a stroll in the moonlight. </p><p>Baekhyun pauses for a brief moment, leaning over to pull out his pocketknife. He reaches for a flower bush, and promptly snips one off, before offering it to Jongdae. “Rose for the prince?” he says, and Jongdae’s momentarily stunned, though he does his best to not let it show. </p><p>“Why, thank you,” Jongdae laughs, plucking the flower from the other’s fingers. He buries his face into the petals, earning a whiff of its flowery scent. “These are very beautiful, Baekhyun.”</p><p>“They better be; I don’t spend all day on them for nothing.”</p><p>He follows the older around the garden, the only noise between them the tapping of their shoes on the stone pavement. </p><p>“I don’t think I’ve ever asked you - how did you come to work in the castle?” Jongdae says, tucking his flower into his robe. </p><p>“My uncle worked here before me. Maybe you knew him?”</p><p>“That man with the very large beard is your uncle?”</p><p>Baekhyun chuckles. “I guess you do know of him.”</p><p>“Yeah, I - we always used to see him when we were playing around the castle. We used to pretend he was a giant coming to wreck our make believe homes. He never knew this, of course.”</p><p>“Well, that’s him. He was getting a bit old and tired, so naturally, he turned to me, his favorite nephew, to take over for him. Been teaching me all about the gardening craft since I was five. I practically begged him to. I loved the smell of flowers, and honestly, I would stay out on the garden all day, just waiting for the flowers to bloom as if they’d do so in front of my very eyes.”</p><p>“I’m glad you could do something you love then.”</p><p>“What about you?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“What do you love to do? What do you do in your free time?”</p><p>“Well… I like to read.”</p><p>Baekhyun yawns. “Boring.”</p><p>“I’ve praised your talent and skills and this is what I get in return.”</p><p>“I’m only kidding, goodness. So. Reading. Cool.”</p><p>“Don’t patronize me.”</p><p>“I’m not! Honestly. You must be the daydreaming sort. Creative, imaginative… thoughtful.”</p><p>“I suppose.”</p><p>“What about the archery skills you so handsomely showed off earlier today?” </p><p>Jongdae wrinkles his nose. “It’s more of a habit than a hobby. More of a chore than anything, though it does help to take the stress off.”</p><p>“You’ll have to teach me someday,” Baekhyun says, shooting him a grin. Jongdae’s heart stutters at the mere thought. A visual begins to form in his mind, one of him and Baekhyun at the range - he stands behind Baekhyun, arms folded gently around his own as he shows him how to properly handle the bow and arrow. Baekhyun would look to the left then, where Jongdae would be, and their faces would be too close - </p><p>“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Baekhyun says, interrupting Jongdae’s thoughts. The prince looks on in confusion. “I mean, I took your silence as blatant dislike towards the idea.”</p><p>Far from it. “No, oh god,” Jongdae laughs, waving him off. “I’d love to. Just got caught up in my thoughts for a bit there.”</p><p>Baekhyun arches an eyebrow, dubious, but keeps walking forward all the same. Meanwhile, Jongdae attempts to get the image of him and Baekhyun out of his mind, to which he fails miserably.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jongdae doesn’t even realize what he’s doing, not until he’s deep into it. </p><p>Dinners with Jieun’s family are a regular thing now. When Jongdae was nine, they were always something to look forward to, because it’d mean he’d get to sit and eat besides his best friend. Now, it’s just another duty added to his list, another chore. Jieun seems to feel the same, as she’s not afraid to voice out loud to Jongdae that she’s felt a shift in their relationship since that evening, and that it halts her from engaging too much with him. She apologizes profusely every time, but Jongdae assures her that he understands completely, and when she smiles gratefully at him, that in itself is enough to ease the tension that’s built up quickly around them. Somehow, as the dinners continue, they ease back into their old ways, very noticeably avoiding any topic having to do with marriage if just to salvage their friendship a little longer. </p><p>After dinners, he sees Baekhyun. </p><p>It’s become instinct now, to seek out the boy at nights. He never disappoints by being in the garden - whether it be under the gazebo gazing at the stars, or feeding the puppy, he always seems to be waiting for Jongdae, who’d arrive with a noticeably lighter heart upon seeing the other boy. </p><p>Baekhyun would make some remark about the younger being so eager to see him, judging by the poorly hidden glee on his face, and Jongdae would scowl, claiming it was just the remarkable food he’d had at dinner that had him in such a great mood. </p><p>Things have never been as easy as they were with Baekhyun. </p><p>They talk like they’ve known each other all their life.</p><p>They talk until dawn about silly things, most of the time bringing up random topics just to keep conversation going, as if they don’t want to go just yet. They talk about the garden, of course; they debate whether the color of Madrigal’s fur is dark orange or just a very light brown. They pretend to know their constellations but instead just point out a random array of stars and claim it looks like the other’s nostril, as if that made any sense. </p><p>Many times, they don’t talk at all. It’s fine though; it’s still perfect. Jongdae thinks the other’s presence is enough to make him feel at ease, to make him feel as if he’s not Kim Jongdae. He feels ridiculous sometimes, the way they’ll lay on the wet grass looking up at the star speckled sky with dumb grins on their faces. Baekhyun would nudge him in the ribs for no reason other than to bother him, because he’s made it clear that his favorite pastime is gently bullying the prince. Jongdae’s, apparently, is pretending the servant’s presence is a nuisance, when really, it unconsciously becomes the highlight of his day, even if he loses sleep over it. </p><p>While it’s robes and sitting up straight and bowing to noblemen during the day, it’s fireflies and dandelions and the feeling of weightlessness at night. </p><p>He feels <i>ridiculous</i>, and he doesn’t even realize how giddy it all makes him until one evening, at dinner, Jieun points out something peculiar. </p><p>“What’s got you so gleeful?” she says, taking her seat besides Jongdae. She has an amused grin on her face, eyebrows arched.</p><p>Jongdae furrows his own. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“I haven’t seen a smile like that on you since you ‘stole’ my imaginary treasure when we were twelve.” </p><p>“What smile?”</p><p>“That smile. The one on your face right now. It’s kind of creeping me out, but nevertheless, I’m glad to see you smiling.” </p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he scoffs. </p><p>“In fact, you’ve been really different these past few weeks. I don’t know what it is. You just seem to carry a different air about you.” </p><p>“Are you alright, Jieun?” he says, chuckling. “Haven’t banged your head on anything today, have you?” </p><p>“Sure, make me the crazy one. I’m not the one with the glint in their eye, nor with the ridiculous grin on their face.” </p><p>Jongdae just laughs, rolling his eyes, to which Jieun finds even more suspicious, because he’d usually retort with something else, not brush it off with laughter. </p><p>“Whatever it is,” she says, quieter, “I’m glad you’re happy.” </p><p>“You seem quite different as well, you know,” Jongdae says. </p><p>“I’m trying to learn to be happier. To not be so tense about everything. It’s calming, and it’s helped a lot.”</p><p>Jongdae bites his lip in guilt, frowning. He sighs, scratching at his nape. “I want to say sorry, Jieun. I know this engagement was very unexpected, and...it’s changed something in our friendship, and for that I’m sorry.”</p><p>“You have nothing to apologize for, Jongdae,” she says. “None of this is your doing. And anyway, shouldn’t we consider ourselves lucky that we have each other? Instead of some random prince or princess we’ve never met?” </p><p>Jongdae chuckles. “That’s what Baekhyun said.”</p><p>“Baekhyun?”</p><p>“O-oh. Um. Baekhyun. The gardener?”</p><p>“Ah. Alright. See that? I didn’t even know the palace had a new gardener. So out of touch, seriously. I should visit the garden one of these days. We used to play there all the time, do you remember?”</p><p>“I do,” Jongdae says, chuckling. “We drew a line in the middle with twigs to signify the separation of our kingdom, since we couldn’t get along.”</p><p>“<i>You</i> were the one who asked for the separation. I wanted to work it out for the sake of our people,” Jieun clarifies, playful glint in her eyes.</p><p>They laugh and argue on as they eat, and Jongdae loves this; for the time being, there is little burden on his shoulders, if only he doesn’t think about the future. He can’t help, however, feeling as if he’s cheating fate by being this happy in both instances of his life - this royal one he shares with his best friend, then the one lit with moonlight that he shares with the gardener. Jieun said she’s learning how to be less tense. Perhaps Jongdae should do the same, if just for a little while. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”</p><p>“Live a little.”</p><p>“If that’s your only argument as to why I should do this, it isn’t a very good one. Maybe I should go back.” </p><p>“Stop! You aren’t going back.”</p><p>Jongdae narrows his eyes at Baekhyun. Even though the older boy’s face is shrouded with the darkness his hood provides, Jongdae can still see the mischievous glint that flashes in his eyes. </p><p>“You said you like feeling normal, don’t you?” Baekhyun continues. “Just one day out of the palace would do no harm, I’m sure.” </p><p>“You’re a bad influence on me.”</p><p>“As if. I’m the greatest thing to ever happen to you.” </p><p>Jongdae sighs, and lets himself be pulled through out of the castle by a very enthusiastic Baekhyun. He tries not to be too distracted by the grip the older has on his wrist, tries to instead focus on how adorable he looks all eager and passionate to show Jongdae - wait no, not that either, idiot. <i>Stop</i>.</p><p>When they make their way to the gates, they pull their robes around them a little tighter. They’re dressed in commoner's’ clothing, all traces of prince and royal servant wiped off from them. Quietly, they pull each other over the gates, Baekhyun leaping over first and then helping the prince clamber onto the other side.</p><p>“Alright, Jongdae,” Baekhyun says, excited. “Ready for an adventure?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Adventure, it seems, is a measured walk to the main village. He hurries Jongdae along and rushes him by gripping onto his wrist yet again and running down the hill, laughter echoing behind them as he attempts to keep up. </p><p>“This is the market,” Baekhyun explains. Jongdae tenses up for fear of being recognized when they begin to merge into a large crowd, stalked on either sides by stands of fruit, artworks, and jewelry. </p><p>They don’t spend too much time in one spot, as Jongdae is too afraid people will see him, and thus wonder what in the world the prince is doing out of the castle without proper protection. </p><p>Baekhyun leads him to the village square, and immediately, Jongdae’s heart jumps at the sound of music playing in the air. There’s a group of men and women in the center, all holding a very loud instrument of some sort - accordions, and trumpets, and other unrecognizable instruments. Jongdae watches on, marveled, a bright grin on his face. </p><p>“You look as if you’ve never seen a live musical performance before,” Baekhyun says besides him.</p><p>“Not like this,” Jongdae says, smiling fondly. “Of course we have performers at our parties, but they’re never quite like this. <i>This</i> is so...genuine, so authentic. You can tell they really love this craft, because it comes from their hearts. They’re not asking for anything at all. They don’t want money or love or attention, they play because they love it. Even if they’re not trained professionals, somehow, this makes it all the better.” </p><p>He switches his gaze to Baekhyun, and is surprised to see the boy looking at him with a soft smile on his face. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>Baekhyun chuckles lightly and shakes his head a little, focusing his attention on the street performers once more. “Nothing. I just - you keep surprising me.” </p><p>“Surprising you? How?”</p><p>“You’re really...quite something,” Baekhyun says slowly, as if trying to choose his words carefully. </p><p>“And you’re vague,” Jongdae retorts with a frown. Baekhyun titters with a grin, nudging him with an elbow as they attempt to shuffle closer to the performers. They ignore the scowl people send their way as they budge through, standing at the very front. And really, Jongdae is content with just listening, but apparently Baekhyun is not. He holds his hand out in invitation, looking at Jongdae with a glint in his eye. </p><p>“As a prince, I’m sure you’re well versed with the art of dancing,” he says. </p><p>Jongdae snorts. “Not in the slightest.”</p><p>“Most princes are,” Baekhyun says, grabbing Jongdae’s hand and slapping it into his palm himself since he doesn’t seem willing. “Then again, you aren’t most princes.” </p><p>Then suddenly, Jongdae is being dragged into the square, immediately spun around as Baekhyun grabs hold of his second hand. There are some cheers from the audience, as well as the performers, at their entrance. Jongdae tries to maintain a frown from being openly exposed like this, but seeing the way Baekhyun lights up as he sways them to the rhythm of the music proves too much, and a grin makes its way to his face. </p><p>Soon the bystanders are clapping along to the beat of the song, and Jongdae feels laughter bubble out of him as Baekhyun practically throws the two of them around the plaza, hands folded together and feet skipping along the stone merrily. They are joined by other dancers soon enough, surrounded by couples and children, along with the occasional pup coming in to see what all the fuss is about. </p><p>He feels as if his feet are going to stumble over each other, but Baekhyun guides him well, matching his steps with his own. At some point, Baekhyun drifts away, eyes teasing, and Jongdae panics for a bit, until a woman follows up, replacing Baekhyun and taking Jongdae for a spin. She smiles grandly, so genuinely, and Jongdae can’t help but smile back at her as they prance around the square. She goes along and the pattern continues, as Jongdae dances with every sort of person there - women, men, and children. </p><p>It’s marvelous, he thinks. He thought he knew his people. But never like this. The way they’re joined together by a simple musical arrangement has him bursting with glee, and feeling utterly careless, on top of the world.</p><p>It’s not until Baekhyun comes back to him that he feels that deep warmth in his chest again, and soon, the servant is pulling him away from the crowd inconspicuously, laughing. </p><p>“So much for keeping a low profile,” Jongdae says, but still chuckling when they move further away. Baekhyun laughs with him, pulling him close to him with an arm around his shoulder as they run up the hill, hearts light. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The same tune comes out later on that day in the form of a low hum from Jongdae’s lips. He sits in the library, body thrown across the velvet chaise as he holds a book above him. He’s feeling oddly giddy, a little weightless, a smile plastered on his face as he lets the tune flow through him. </p><p>“What’s the matter with you?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>Jongdae halts mid-sentence of his book, looking up at Kyungsoo who eyes him suspiciously with a perked eyebrow.</p><p>“I said, what’s the matter with you?” he repeats.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I mean the humming. The little foot tapping and that smile on your face.”</p><p>“Can’t a fellow be happy?”</p><p>“A normal fellow, yes, but you’ve been sulking for weeks, and now…<i>this</i>. And stop humming. This is a library, not the town plaza.” Kyungsoo makes to walk away, but he turns around and directs yet another suspicious gaze towards Jongdae. “Come to think of it, that tune sounded a lot like the song those performers play there… Memory, or something like that.” </p><p>“Remember Me?”</p><p>“Ah, yes, that,” Kyungsoo says, turning away to shelve some books. “How would you know that, Prince? Been hanging around the commoners?” </p><p>It’s clear that Kyungsoo is not seriously suspicious; he only means this as banter. Nonetheless, it still makes Jongdae nervous. </p><p>“Is it so wrong to get to know the people of my kingdom?”</p><p>Kyungsoo halts and turns to shoot Jongdae a look, clearly taken aback by the defensive tone in his words. “Not wrong, no... it’s just uncommon for a prince to have that much time on their hands.”</p><p>“I’m in the library at three in the afternoon rereading a book I’ve read twenty times. The fact of the matter is that I have too much time. You can say what you really want to say.”</p><p>Kyungsoo huffs. “Alright, fine. It’s uncommon for a prince to care that much. One of your age anyway.” </p><p>“I just think you’re too influenced by the Qeodal royals. I know how they can be a handful when they come and visit.” </p><p>“They’re the worst,” Kyungsoo agrees. “The princes trashed the library <i>and</i> the garden. Were terribly loud and obnoxious as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were the reason our last gardener had his heart attack. Makes me even more thankful to serve a prince like you, honestly.”</p><p>Typically, Jongdae would brush off the sentiment. Now, however, his head is thundering with the words <i>our last gardener</i> and <i>heart attack</i>.</p><p>“H-heart attack?”</p><p>“That’s right. Junho, you know? Old fellow. Shame. He was very kind.” </p><p>Jongdae is stuck silent for a whole minute, running a hand through his hair as he feels his face begin to grow unbearingly hot. “I didn’t- I didn’t know-”</p><p>Kyungsoo stops shelving his books, and turns to give Jongdae a pitiful look. “Well, that’s alright. Stop looking so guilty. I’m sure it’s not your fault you didn’t know. And anyway, I guess that’s better than knowing and not caring, which some of the staff assumed when you failed to show up at the funeral.”</p><p>“It’s not that I don’t care, honestly, I-”</p><p>“I know, Prince.” Kyungsoo gives him a tentative, reassuring smile. “I believe you.”</p><p>“But - Baekhyun, he said he only passed his job on to him because he was getting old.”</p><p>Kyungsoo purses his lips, then shakes his head. “No. He died. Heart attack, right in the garden.”</p><p>“Why would he tell me something else then?”</p><p>Kyungsoo shrugs, and returns to his mindless activity of shelving the books. “Likely because he didn’t want to talk about it.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me your uncle died?” </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Your uncle. He passed. Why didn’t you tell me?” </p><p>Baekhyun blinks. The natural upward curve of his lips fall into a tense frown. His chest rises and falls in a slow, agonizing movement as he sighs deeply, turning away, eyes darting everywhere like he doesn’t know how to distract himself from the situation at hand. “I’m sorry I lied,” he says, in a quiet, shaky voice. Then he plucks a rose from the soil, using a knife to shave off the thorns. </p><p>“I’m not mad that you lied,” Jongdae says, his tone growing softer as he realizes how blunt he came off. “I just want to know why. I want to know if you’re okay.” </p><p>His hand movements with the knife against the stem become sharper and quicker the longer they stand there, a clear unease in the way he moves. “I’m fine.”</p><p>“I’m not trying to-”</p><p>“Prince,” Baekhyun cuts off, hands working even faster at the rose, even shaving off bits of the stem with how carelessly he handles it. “Please.”</p><p>“I’m <i>prince</i> again, am I?” he says, the hurt in his voice evident no matter how hard he tries to hide it. </p><p>Baekhyun stops fiddling with the rose for a brief second to spare the younger boy a tentative glance. “I’m sorry. I can’t talk about this now.” Then he’s back at the rose, and Jongdae is alarmed at the quick rate he is shaving off those thorns, almost close to cutting himself at some points. </p><p>In an impulsive decision he covers Baekhyun’s hands with his own, halting his motions. He can feel Baekhyun tense with his touch, as he looks up at Jongdae almost curiously. Jongdae gently grasps the knife and pulls it away from Baekhyun’s long fingers, making sure to keep one hand around both of Baekhyun’s, and the rose. </p><p>“I just want you to know I’m here for you,” Jongdae says. “Like you always are for me. You don’t have to talk about it. Not then, not right now, not even in the future if you don’t feel like it. Just know that I’ll be here for you if you ever need someone to vent to. I’ll listen. Forgive me if I offend you but, sometimes I think you feel like you have this image you need to portray to me, of someone who is always bright and cheerful, someone in high spirits. Someone fun and unburdened, as if to show me you're fine."

</p><p>“Well,” Baekhyun says under his breath, directing his gaze away, “you really hit the nail dead on there.” </p><p>Jongdae means to say something else, to ask once more if he’s alright, but he’s interrupted by a new voice that rings throughout the garden. </p><p>“Jongdae!” it calls. He registers it as Jieun’s. He’s not sure why he starts to become anxious, heart leaping into his throat. “I’ve been looking for you.” Her dress trails behind her as she walks, eyes bright at the sight of Jongdae. It’s only when she approaches that she sees Baekhyun by his side. Her eyes flicker to Jongdae’s hands wrapped around his, and she halts, eyes curious for a mere second before she speaks again. “Sorry, have I interrupted…?” </p><p>“God, no,” Jongdae claims, releasing Baekhyun’s hands from his. “I - um - this is Baekhyun. The gardener. Baekhyun, this is Princess Jieun, of the Xikim Kingdom.” </p><p>Baekhyun shuffles up quickly to bow, mouth in a tight line as he does so. “Your royal highness,” he greets. “It’s an honor to be in your presence.” </p><p>Jieun frowns, waving him up with a gesture. “I don’t require formalities. Any friend of Jongdae’s is a friend of mine.” </p><p>“Forgive me, princess, but the formalities are more for my sake than your own,” Baekhyun responds, tone still stiff with manners.  “They’ll have my head if they knew I was speaking to the princess informally.”</p><p>Jieun laughs then, loud and boisterous as always. “I like you. And anyway, I wouldn’t have it,” she says. “Now up! I see that you treat our Jongdae here rather informally, so you can do the same with me.” There’s a grin playing on her lips, her eyes lit with amusement. </p><p>Baekhyun stutters. “Oh, th-that? Yeah, just a - he was just helping me with the rose. The thorns. On the rose.” He holds up the rose as if to prove his claim. </p><p>“They’re rather troublesome,” Jongdae adds unhelpfully. The princess shoots him a suspicious glance, corner of her lip still tilted up in that amused way. Jongdae clears his throat, shuffling his feet, before speaking again. “What did you need me for?” </p><p>“I was looking for you everywhere in the castle,” Jieun says. “I wanted you to accompany me to the gardens. I gave up eventually and came on my own, just to see how it’s changed, only to see that you are already here.” </p><p>“Yeah, I, ah, spend a lot of time in the garden these days,” Jongdae says, and he curses himself on how that sounds.</p><p>“Is that so?” Jieun asks, eyes brightening in pure, utter glee at the implication. Clearly, she enjoys this, obvious in the way she shoots a suggestive look at Baekhyun after. “Understandable. The garden is very beautiful.” </p><p>“Thank you, princess,” Baekhyun says quietly, bowing a little. </p><p>“I’ll let you two get back at - well, whatever you were at,” she says, unsubtle in the way she grins whimsically at them. “I believe Qian needed a taste tester in the kitchens anyway.” </p><p>And when she’s gone, Jongdae sighs heavily, oddly hot in the face.</p><p>“She’s....lively,” Baekhyun says, and it makes Jongdae chuckle. Still, he does not forget the actual situation at hand. </p><p>“Now, are you sure you’re alright?” Jongdae asks him, falling into seriousness once more. </p><p>Baekhyun sighs, then smiles wanly. “I’ll tell you the whole thing if it’ll make you feel better.”</p><p>“It’s not about <i>me</i>, it’s about you. And you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I just want to know if you’re alright.”</p><p>The older leans in to grasp at Jongdae’s wrist. “Well, now I want to.” And Jongdae can only hope Jieun isn’t still present to see the way Baekhyun pulls him into the gazebo.</p><p>Under the unrelenting sun and the warm breeze of the late summer day, Baekhyun tells him about his childhood. He tells him about his father and how he never knew him, of his mother who grew sick when he was very young, and of his uncle, who took him in without a semblance of hesitation. Jongdae feels a surge of appreciation for the man, for raising Baekhyun and treating him with nothing but kindness and bestowing his wisdom upon him, for teaching him the craft that allows Baekhyun to express himself in the most beautiful way. And when Baekhyun says that he was the only person he’d ever had, Jongdae feels a hole dig itself in his chest, and wants nothing more than to hold the boy close. </p><p>He doesn’t, though. Instead, he steps closer and rests his hand on top of his. He’s silent, and he’s been quiet the whole time Baekhyun had talked, but he knows this is all he needs, just the acknowledgement that he has someone else now. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The autumn leaves are crisp underneath their shoes as they bound through the forest with smiles on their faces. Jongdae trails Baekhyun, following his quick and swift steps in leaping over tree roots and small flowers that deserve to remain standing a little longer. He’s taken a better appreciation for them. </p><p>He calls for Baekhyun to wait up, as the boy is much faster than him and is hopping and running as if he’s been doing it his entire life. He darts around like he was made for the forest, becoming a blur amongst the trees as he strays further and further away. Baekhyun looks back with a glint in his eyes, waving, mocking him. </p><p>They reach an opening soon enough, a large patch of long grass that stands by the stream. Their running comes to a halt.</p><p>The sun shines onto the area with an orange glow, pouring over the canopy of trees to cast an effect over the stream. It sparkles in the light, dust motes turning from something dull and trivial into shimmering winks that change with the sun. The stream besides them bubbles along its path, an unearthly shine to it. It’s something straight out of a fairytale, this little off section of the forest. Jongdae wonders briefly what other wonders he misses out on in his very own kingdom. </p><p>It’s an ethereal sight, he thinks. He feels unworthy. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt as insignificant as he does now, standing amongst this effortless beauty. </p><p>It’ll be dark soon, he knows. The sun is just beginning to set, clear in the way its colors cast themselves onto the forest floor. Baekhyun beside him attempts to regain his breath from all the running; Jongdae tries to do the same, but the view before him threatens to take it away from him once more. </p><p>“You’re slow,” Baekhyun laughs, plopping himself onto the grass. “When I made the bet with you, I thought I’d be having a challenge.” </p><p>Jongdae scoffs, but it’s nothing that says he’s seriously offended. “Alright, you win. What’s your price?” </p><p>Baekhyun tilts his head as he looks unto the stream, like he’s thinking. He throws his hands behind himself to hold him up, pursing his lips in thought. Jongdae’s slightly afraid he’ll say something like <i>go throw yourself in the stream naked</i> or something else that is so utterly Baekhyun. What he doesn’t expect is the way Baekhyun next turns to look at him, his expression surprisingly soft, with the corners of his lips turned up in the most innocent, delicate way. </p><p>“Stay,” he says, voice equally soft. “That’s my price.”</p><p>Jongdae blinks. “What?”</p><p>“Stay with me tonight. Don’t go off saying you have duties to attend to, don’t go off to that dinner you dread every night and leave me hanging. Just - stay.” </p><p>Jongdae doesn’t think Baekhyun realizes the depth of what he asks him. If he were to stay, his parents would be frantic, wondering where their prince is and having their guards search the entire kingdom for him and whoever took him - because in their minds, Jongdae could never have run off on his own. He was too much of a good son to do so, and they knew that. Jongdae thought he was as well. Until this boy comes and asks him to simply stay, and he can’t find it in his heart to do anything other than stay.</p><p>It’s only one night he’d be ditching. He’ll show up in the morning safe and fine. He’ll get a lecture no doubt, but he thinks it’s worth it. </p><p>“Okay,” Jongdae responds, a tentative smile on his face. The look Baekhyun sends him is so very worth it, full of affection and gratefulness, his features lit in joy as he looks away with a smile on his face.</p><p>They don’t speak much after that, but it’s fine - Jongdae likes this. He likes this silence between them, he likes the comfort it gives him, he likes the fact that they can enjoy each other's presence without having to talk. He likes the warmth Baekhyun gives off when he sits besides him, clutching his knees and swaying with the slight wind that blows in the trees. He likes the sun, the stream, the sparkling scene, and the way Baekhyun seems to effortlessly fit in the moment. </p><p>Jongdae would never say it out loud, but as stunning as the scene is, it can never rival the beauty that Baekhyun emits without trying. </p><p>“It’s beautiful here,” Jongdae says finally, softly. </p><p>“It is,” the other agrees. He looks back at Jongdae, turning his head, and he has that same soft look on his face he’d had back at the village’s plaza - tender, fond, something that makes the tips of Jongdae’s ears go red because the look in his eyes is too hard to meet, too intense. And yet, even as Jongdae looks away, he has to resist the urge to look again. </p><p>Something settles over them as they sit besides the stream, caught in the orange glow of the sun and the sparkling of the river. It’s indecipherable, unexplainable, what this something is, but it’s as if the very nature of their relationships shifts into something new, different, unexplored. It happens with the fond look Baekhyun gives him, with the returning smile Jongdae shoots back, with the way they try to shuffle closer to each other without having the other one notice, and most especially with the way Baekhyun had asked him to <i>stay</i>. </p><p>It makes his heart beat a little faster. He glows with a warm affection for the other boy, and it spreads everywhere it can reach. </p><p>By this point they are hip to hip, knees knocking against each other. Baekhyun shifts to lean his head on the other boy’s shoulder, to which Jongdae’s heart abruptly stops beating at the fast pace it’s been going, but instead stills to a shuddering halt - at least, it feels that way. His breath falters, his chest tightening in nervousness. He doesn’t know what’s gotten into him, why he’s reacting this way. </p><p>After a moment, he allows himself to relax into Baekhyun, pressing his cheek lightly into the older’s hair, as an indulgent smile grows on his lips. </p><p>It’s only now he realizes how entranced he is with this boy, how drawn he is to him. He is warm and affectionate, passionate about the things he loves and always free spirited, never bound by the restrictions he’d been born into. Jongdae respects this; he <i>admires</i> this, he likes him for this.</p><p>His smile is captivating, his presence overwhelming - and he makes him feel normal. He talks to him like a friend, like equals. He’s flawed as hell as well - overly dramatic, a bit too reckless, quick to judge. Jongdae only thinks this makes him even more beautiful. </p><p>In this moment, all common sense is forgotten. He becomes the person Baekhyun makes him feel like, someone free and unburdened. The person that’s been hiding in the shadows since the prince’s crown was placed on his head. If just for this moment, he will be this person, right here, with Baekhyun. </p><p>Jongdae doesn’t think about later, he doesn’t think about the endgame or what will happen afterwards. He allows himself to thrive in the moment, this moment, where it’s just the two of them and the sparkling stream and the glowing forest surrounding. He doesn’t think about how he’ll regret this later, how it will hurt him and most likely how it will hurt Baekhyun too. </p><p>So when the other boy lifts his head from his shoulder, their faces are very close, only inches apart. Jongdae’s heart is doing that stuttering thing again, and it speeds up even more as Baekhyun seems to be getting closer. </p><p>He pauses. The tension is palpable as the older boy’s eyes dart around Jongdae’s face, curious. Their breaths mingle, noses brushing, and it’s as if he’s asking Jongdae to take that final step, to plunge them into this, whatever it is. </p><p>With his heart in his throat, Jongdae closes the gap between them.</p><p>Their pace is slow and unhurried, lips sensually meeting each other in sweet movements. Jongdae shuffles closer, gasping into the kiss when Baekhyun’s teeth pull lightly at his bottom lip. Jongdae feels too warm, heat running all along his veins as he kisses the boy deeper, running a hand along his hair. Baekhyun kisses with equal fervor, pulling them chest to chest.</p><p>And when they part, it’s with small, fond smiles, warm and affectionate. Jongdae revels in the warm touch of Baekhyun’s hand on his waist, and leans in for one more innocent peck. </p><p>It’s entrancing, this moment they share where Baekhyun is looking so tenderly at him, like he’s all that matters. Jongdae tries not to think of anything but the look he sends his way, and he can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of him from the mere happiness he feels, from the love that flows through him. Baekhyun pulls back with an amused smile, and suddenly, he’s standing, pulling Jongdae to his feet as well.</p><p>“Let’s play in the river,” he says with a blinding smile, hand tucked neatly into Jongdae’s. The prince is wary, but agrees, if only to keep that smile on the older’s face for a little while longer. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He’s dug a deep hole for himself, and it gets deeper every night he meets with Baekhyun in the gardens. He doesn’t allow himself to think about it. For the first time in his life, he just <i>does it</i>, because for the first time in his life, he’s doing something out of his own accord. It makes him feel different, a slight sense of adrenaline flowing through his veins whenever he sneaks out of his room and runs through the darkened stone halls to meet the boy with the pretty hands. </p><p>It’s under the moon where they always meet, surrounded by Baekhyun’s creations, and though they’ve been doing just this for the past several months, there is a different air to it now. They share the softest of smiles, edging on shy as they sit on the edge of the fountain, hands inches away but itching to grab the other. </p><p>Jongdae’s taken aback by this new Baekhyun, who would glance up at Jongdae for a brief second, eyes filled with warmth, before averting his gaze again, the corner of his lips lilting up slowly. He’s gotten somewhat quieter as well, the chattiness noticeably fading since their kiss, but Jongdae knows this is just a result of the clear abashedness he feels since their little moment by the stream. He thinks it’s cute, the way Baekhyun fiddles with his fingers and turns to give Jongdae a timid look before asking if he can kiss him. And Jongdae says yes, of course, you don’t need to ask. </p><p>Baekhyun’s hand is always so warm against his cheek whenever he pulls him in. Jongdae’s heart still jumps in little rhythmic motions whenever the older’s thumb would gently trace soft circles into his skin as their lips meet in slow kisses. </p><p>Whenever they part, it’s with those same sheepish smiles, lit with happiness. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s indulgent, the way Baekhyun nestles his head deeper into Jongdae’s lap. The way he smiles, corners of his lips turning up in a catlike way when he leans into the prince’s touch. The way he peeks open one eye at Jongdae above him, probably to check and make sure that he is watching him be this adorable. </p><p>Jongdae’s fingers card through his hair, a playful smile adorned. When Baekhyun lets his eyes fall shut again, Jongdae leans forward, hunching over far enough to place a brave, lingering kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead. As he pulls back, he notices Baekhyun’s smile growing larger, as does his own heart, and suddenly there are fingers at his nape, pulling him in for a proper kiss, one on the lips. </p><p>Jongdae pulls away, heart stuttering, with a teasing smile. “Will you ever let us have a pure, unadulterated moment without putting that tongue of yours to use?”</p><p>The chuckle that comes from Baekhyun is one Jongdae would like to hear forever - better, even, than the songs they play at the village plaza. In actuality, it’s more akin to a giggle, and Jongdae feels himself glow with fondness. </p><p>“Only when you stop being so alluring,” Baekhyun says, now sitting up. He keeps his face close to Jongdae’s, lightly tracing a thin finger down the side of his jaw. Ticklish, Jongdae grabs at it, but keeps his finger in his palm, as well as the rest of his hand. He plays with the nimble fingers, and watches as they slide in between his own. </p><p>“Have I ever told you how much I envy your fingers?” </p><p>“Envy or love?” Baekhyun asks, leaning in close so that the tip of his nose brushes Jongdae’s. </p><p>The prince purses his lips. “Both.” </p><p>Baekhyun hums, content, before turning his gaze down to watch as Jongdae plays with his fingers. “I play piano, you know.” </p><p>Jongdae shoots his head, nearly colliding his forehead with Baekhyun’s as he gapes. “You do?”</p><p>“Yes,” Baekhyun responds, chuckling in between. He’s got the sweetest, brightest smile on his face.</p><p>“Well, you’ll have to show me now.”</p><p>“I’m not that great, honestly.”</p><p>“Oh, playing modest now, are we? It doesn’t suit you,” Jongdae says, laughing as Baekhyun pouts at him. The prince is insistent, and abruptly leaps from the grass and pulls the older boy up with him. They stumble to their feet, and Jongdae steps in close, much like how Baekhyun had earlier. </p><p>“Play a tune for me, will you?” he asks, breath hitting the older’s lips. The way Baekhyun’s cheeks pinken at Jongdae’s initiative is a dubious <i>yes</i>, but Jongdae takes it as one anyway, pulling his wrist and running back into the castle. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dust flies into the air when Jongdae whips at the dirty cloth, tugging it away from the grand piano. He fans the air, coughing slightly, and turns to face Baekhyun, who still stands in awe at the door. </p><p>“How have I never come across this room?” he asks, gazing around at the gilded architecture - elaborate moldings around the ceiling, a wallpaper with an enchanting pattern. He takes measured steps into it all, quietly closing the door behind him.</p><p>“No one comes in here much,” Jongdae says. “It hasn’t been used since my mother stopped playing.” </p><p>“Why did she stop?” Baekhyun asks. He trails his finger on the top of the piano, creating patterns in the dust. </p><p>Jongdae shrugs, pursing his lips. “Just one of those things, I guess. You know, where you feel like you have to give something up just because life moves on, and you need to move on as well.” </p><p>“That’s not a very good reason to stop,” Baekhyun says. “Did she love it?” </p><p>“Of course. She was in here nearly everyday when I was a child. She was rather insecure about her skills, so she never let anyone in the room with her as she played, but I always enjoyed leaning my ear against the door and hearing the melodies she created.”</p><p>“I bet you were a cute kid,” Baekhyun says, and Jongdae rolls his eyes, pretending to be annoyed by Baekhyun’s constant compliments and flirting, but honestly, he sort of loves it.</p><p>Clearing his throat, Baekhyun seats himself at the piano, flexing his fingers. He motions for Jongdae to sit besides him, patting the seat as invitation.</p><p>“What shall I play?” Baekhyun asks once they’re settled.</p><p>“Something for me,” Jongdae says, bumping his shoulder with Baekhyun’s. The older grins. </p><p>“I can certainly do that,” he says, and begins playing a tune. </p><p>His fingers play at the keys in a way that entrances Jongdae, moving with grace and swiftness. The melody he plays has a nostalgic element to it, despite the younger never having heard of it. The large room echoes with it, ultimately throwing them in another world then; at least, that’s what Jongdae feels. As if the notes Baekhyun elegantly plays create another universe for him, casting him into it with just its melody. He shuts his eyes and revels in it, revels in the feel of the song, of Baekhyun’s warmth besides him, of the world he creates with his fingers. This world, where it’s just the two of them, where no responsibility exists and where Jongdae can melt in Baekhyun’s presence without worrying what will happen the next moment. It’s a world he wants to live in forever. </p><p>He allows himself to believe this halcyon world exists, if just for a moment. </p><p>There’s a dull ache in Jongdae’s chest. It spreads, overwhelming his being, and surprising him when he feels it in his eyes. He is in pure want at the moment, perhaps so powerful that it may just be need. Need for the man besides him to be with him, to love him freely and without consequences or without that nagging thought that this can’t last, that it can never work. </p><p>He’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize Baekhyun’s stopped playing until he feels a hand grasp onto his own, warm and smooth to the touch. Even if the melody has stopped, the world it’s created hasn’t shattered just yet, at least not until they leave this room. </p><p>One of Baekhyun’s delicate fingers come up to wipe at his eyes, and Jongdae bitterly chuckles, trying to wipe at them furiously. Baekhyun doesn’t laugh, though. His face is entirely serious when he turns Jongdae to face him, both hands placed carefully on his cheeks. There is a sorrow in the older boy’s eyes, piercing straight through Jongdae. His lip quivers just the slightest, vulnerability peeking through with the way he gazes at Jongdae so tenderly, filled with an unplaceable warmth. Before he knows it, he’s being pulled in for a slow, bittersweet kiss, lips brushing lightly. The ache in Jongdae’s chest strengthens into an anguished throbbing, and it feels as if he can’t get enough, scooting in closer to grab at Baekhyun’s shirt and pull him even closer. </p><p>Baekhyun is warm, so warm, flushed against him like this, mouth moving sweetly against his in slow, unhurried movements. His hands have fallen to Jongdae’s shoulders, gripping onto them loosely and sliding down his arms to his waist. Jongdae sighs at the touch, panting into the others’ mouth, and damn him, he can feel the emotions welling up in his chest again, threatening to burst. It’s the frustration, the infuriating idea that he can’t do anything about this at all. He feels utterly hopeless, wretchedness clawing at his chest and making him feel as if he can’t breathe - not with Baekhyun, not without. </p><p>He would like to curse the boy eternally for coming into his life and throwing him into this whirlwind of emotions, but he could never. He could never wish sadness or misery upon him, after all the joy he’s given him, after all the memories they’ve shared in so little time, comparable enough to those who have a whole lifetime for this sort of thing. Jongdae feels hopeless and hopeful at the same time with Baekhyun, each moment shared with him bordering on bittersweet, because he knows what it means, he knows what it is and it is exactly what he can’t have. </p><p>When they break, the look on Baekhyun’s face is wrong; it doesn’t belong there. Jongdae thinks he should never have to look this wretched, this torn. It’s as if he’s crumbling before him, lip quivering and eyes darting away, and yet he tries to hold it all together, tries to force a smile, tries to appear nonchalant, like he always does. </p><p>It makes Jongdae’s chest feel hollow, empty, and the feel of Baekhyun’s skin against his is proving to be the only thing that makes sense right now. He speaks in a soft whisper, hand clasping tightly to the fabric of Baekhyun’s shirt. </p><p>“Would you like to come up to my room?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The sheets are cool against his bare legs, tangled with their limbs. Baekhyun fits in his chest so perfectly, huddled close, the tip of his nose tickling his skin. Jongdae laughs a little at the contact, trying to push him away, only for the older to come in even closer, cheek against his heartbeat. There’s a fond little smile on his face as his arms wrap around Jongdae, and the latter thinks - this is right. Baekhyun should always be smiling, just like this. </p><p>His fingers card through his hair affectionately, his other hand stroking down Baekhyun’s spine in soft, gentle movements. Baekhyun squirms, ticklish, and slaps his hand away. Jongdae chuckles, and pulls himself back so that he can look him in the eyes. </p><p>It’s remarkable to him, how he can look so utterly like an angel even with his hair askew, even with his skin still glistening with remnants of sweat. His gaze is soft, the corners of his lips turned upwards in the sweetest way. Before Jongdae knows it, the older is clambering on top of him with a glint in his eyes. There are no words spoken, and yet, so much is heard with the simple way Baekhyun leans down to kiss him gently, a mere brush of lips. It sends a warm sensation running through Jongdae’s veins, as it rebuilds that world once more, that world meant for just him and Baekhyun. </p><p>“You’re beautiful,” Baekhyun murmurs onto his lips, capturing them afterwards with a swift kiss. “Absolutely stunning.” He slurs his words, seemingly more intent on making sure Jongdae knows just how much when he leaves soft pecks along the side of his jaw, trailing down to his neck. </p><p>Jongdae bares it all for him, his hands carefully placed at Baekhyun’s waist. He laughs when Baekhyun continues to speak against his skin, causing ticklish feelings.</p><p>“I have a proposition for you,” Baekhyun says, pulling away. </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah.” He nods, lips turning into a grin. He appears contemplative, eyes as warm as ever. “Run away with me.” </p><p>Jongdae’s smile falls, heart lurching. He blinks at the man on top of him. </p><p>“Run away with me,” Baekhyun repeats, pushing the younger’s hair back so he can see his face. “Let’s get out of here.”</p><p>There is no trace of humor in Baekhyun’s words, no teasing in his expression. He looks hopeful. Certain. Like he knows Jongdae is going to say yes. Like he can’t even consider it might just be the opposite. </p><p>“Baekhyun,” Jongdae starts, his face solemn. He caresses the side of the servant’s face with a single finger, feeling him shiver under his touch. “There is nothing I would like more than to be with you.”</p><p>At this, Baekhyun grins even wider, and damn it, Jongdae is considering it. It’s a smile to die for. It’s a smile that makes him want to work for the rest of his life to keep it on him. He can’t take it away from him. He doesn’t want to. </p><p>And yet.</p><p>“I can’t.”</p><p>And slowly, gradually, the smile falls off. Baekhyun’s brows furrow in confusion as the beginnings of a frown make its way on his face. </p><p>“I can’t leave the kingdom,” Jongdae says, a mere whisper. </p><p>He is frozen on top of him, eyes darting around his face as a small shiver runs down his spine. Baekhyun’s bottom lip quivers, like he means to say something but can’t find any words. Instead, he climbs off of Jongdae slowly, almost numbly, sitting by his side with a blank look in his eyes. </p><p>“Yeah, it was - it was a stupid idea,” he says, so hushed that it breaks Jongdae’s heart. </p><p>“No,” Jongdae says quickly, sitting up to grab at his hand. Baekhyun twitches, but he doesn’t pull away. </p><p>“I should have never thought -”</p><p>“Stop. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I can’t go with you. I have to - I’m the heir, Baekhyun, and I can’t just up and leave - I - I have to marry Jieun -”</p><p>“Oh,” Baekhyun interrupts, so quiet Jongdae can barely hear him. “You’re still marrying her.”</p><p>A silence falls in the room, filling it with a thick tension. Baekhyun releases his hand from Jongdae’s grip, moving away from him, and the distance is too much for Jongdae to bear. </p><p>“If you were planning on marrying her this entire time, why did you get involved with me, then?” Baekhyun says, louder now, clearer. His tone is one of indignance, and it scares Jongdae. “What am I to you? A distraction?”</p><p>“Baekhyun, it’s not like that -”</p><p>“Not like what? Not what I thought it was, right? It was just a fling to take your mind off your impending marriage of doom. I get it now.” </p><p>“As if I have a choice!”</p><p>“You do have a choice,” Baekhyun says, tone raising. He meets his gaze for the first time, eyes hardened. “Everyone always gets a choice. It’s the cowards who say they don’t.”</p><p>“You’re being selfish. The fate of the <i>entire</i> kingdom depends on this marriage.”</p><p>“Alright!” Baekhyun explodes, standing up from the bed. He looks around for a shirt, pulling it on quickly.  “It’s clear you know that then. If you know that, why did you get involved with me? If you knew that all along, you knew this would happen, you knew this would end like this, and you went along with it anyway.” </p><p>Jongdae fights the tears in his eyes. His chest is swelling and feeling hollow once more, and he just wants to return to their happy bubble they’d had only a minute ago. It seems like a dream now. “Baekhyun, please-”</p><p>“I get it, Jongdae, I do,” Baekhyun says, turning his back on him as he runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “You have no idea how much I want to hate you. But I can’t. I want to loathe you, I want to hate you so much because you’re so damn <i>stiff</i> about your big princely duties and responsibilities, but I <i>can’t</i>.” Baekhyun pauses, fists clenching as his eyes face the ground. “I can’t hate you for that. I can’t hate you for wanting to do right by your people.”</p><p>Silence falls between them. The air is thick, unsaid words lingering in the air. Everything is falling to pieces here, now, and Jongdae thinks Baekhyun’s right. It’s all his fault. He should never have kissed him if he knew all along that he couldn’t be with him. He should say he regrets it; he should say he’s sorry for making him hopeful. But he doesn’t. It hurts like hell now, but he doesn’t regret it. </p><p>Baekhyun breaks the silence, but his words are hushed. “Does it make me a bad person if I want you to choose me over them? I know you can’t, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting it more than anything.”</p><p>“Baekhyun-” Jongdae cries, but the older doesn’t let him finish. He finds his pants and pulls them on, making his way to the door. His figure is tense as he pulls it open, but he pauses, looking back at Jongdae with a sorrowful look in his eyes. Jongdae wants nothing more than to call him back, to apologize profusely, to say yes, he’ll leave with him, but all words fail him at the sight of this resentful Baekhyun. </p><p>“Goodbye,” Baekhyun says, before promptly walking through the door without another glance, slamming it shut. Suddenly, Jongdae is left alone with the billowing curtains, the mockery of the sun shining through his window, and his tangled sheets. He lifts one hand to his face and sobs into it. He doesn’t think he’s ever hated his title more than he does now. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Alright,” Jieun says, huffing. “What’s wrong with you?” </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You’re the easiest person to read. What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Whether I’m happy or sad, you always assume something is wrong with me. Can’t I just be having a bad day?”</p><p>Jieun scoffs. “Kim Jongdae doesn’t let himself have bad days. He has days that are a little off, sure, but he gets through it quickly, quick enough so that it doesn’t turn into a bad day, but perhaps just a mildly okay day.” </p><p>“I assure you, Kim Jongdae has bad days,” he responds. “Days when he doesn’t want to try to get through it. Days where he’d rather wallow in self pity.”</p><p>Jieun shoots him a concerned look. “What’s wrong, Jongdae?” she says, softer now. </p><p>“Nothing,” he shoots down immediately. He doesn’t see the shift in her expression. He’s too absorbed in the pattern on the pavement to notice the way her eyes harden, the way she frowns, the way her brows furrow. </p><p>“I’m sick of this,” she says. “What the hell happened to us? We used to tell each other everything.”</p><p>Jongdae blinks up at her, surprised. “Yeah, well, that was before we knew we were to marry each other.”</p><p>“Oh, <i>shut up,</i> Jongdae,” she scoffs, throwing her arms up. “Honestly. Do you think you’re the only one having a hard time? You think I don’t constantly feel like I’m trapped, stuck inside these dull palace walls all day? You don’t think I dream about an actual life? You know me better than anyone. You know I’d much rather be out there, sneaking onto ships, dueling men twice as big as I am, hustling them out of their money, and living life as it comes. You’re not the only one who’s got to endure all of this. If the thought of marrying me really repulses you so damn much, please, do us both a favor and leave then.” </p><p>Jongdae sits stunned before her. She was never one to raise her voice, and now that she sits with her arms crossed against her chest, frowning deeply, he thinks, yeah, maybe he was being a brat. </p><p>“I’m sorry, Jieunnie,” he says quietly. </p><p>Jieun huffs, blowing a strand of hair away from her face. She glances at Jongdae. “You haven’t called me Jieunnie since we were twelve,” she says, tone still slightly hardened. Her eyes, however, are still angry, glaring at him with an icy depth.</p><p>“You haven’t reminded me of twelve-year-old Jieunnie as much as you do now,” Jongdae says. “Dreaming of trespassing onto ships and fighting pirates for their treasures. Did you ever really grow up?” Jongdae offers her the smallest smile, an attempt to lighten the mood. </p><p>“You’re one to talk. You’ve always been a romantic, even as a child, always the first to conjure up your imaginary princesses. And now you’re here wallowing in despair over a servant boy.” </p><p>Jongdae snaps his head towards her, his smile gone. She, however, has the makings of a grin playing on her lips, complete with a perked eyebrow. </p><p>“Like I said,” Jieun says, “you’re easy to read. He is too. You’re both very obvious. When I noticed him sulking around the gardens, I didn’t think too much of it. But then there’s you as well, so it’s clear there’s some sort of lover’s spat going on here.” </p><p>Jongdae considers denying it for the briefest moment, but with a sigh, he realizes he’s definitely not going to get past Jieun’s sharp intuition. Not to mention, she’s already handled enough of his bullshit today. </p><p>“I wish it were as meager as a ‘lover’s spat’,” he confesses, looking down as he fiddles with his fingers. At this, Jieun softens once more, face falling and arms coming back down to her sides. They’re quiet for a while, a tense silence filling the air until Jieun breaks it with hushed words. </p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>“There’s not much to say,” Jongdae near-whispers. “I’m an ass. That’s it.”</p><p>“I fully agree,” Jieun says. Jongdae shoots her a look. “Oh, was I supposed to disagree?” </p><p>Jongdae chuckles a little before shaking his head. “Nah. I am one. I’m sorry. I’ve treated you terribly these past few months.” </p><p>“Well, I had a hand in that too,” Jieun says. “Anyway, you’ve gotten better these past few weeks. It’s because of him, right? Baekhyun? The gardener?” </p><p>Maybe it should be weird talking about Baekhyun to his future wife, and it would be, if Jongdae actually considered Jieun his future wife. Right now, they are just best friends, as they always have been, and it’s easy to reveal your heart to your best friend. </p><p>“Yes,” Jongdae says. “I - I messed it up, though. You can’t tell anyone this, alright?”</p><p>“Lips are sealed.”</p><p>“He wanted to run away. With me. Away from the kingdom, I mean.”</p><p>Jieun purses her lips thoughtfully, tilting her head to one side. “And you said no, I’m assuming?”</p><p>“Of course I said no, there’s no way I could answer otherwise.”</p><p>“But of course there is,” Jieun says, like it’s obvious. “Why not run away with him?”</p><p>“Have you gone mad?” Jongdae asks. “I can’t up and leave!”</p><p>“Not even for him? Who you claim to care for so much?” </p><p>Jongdae frowns. “You just want me gone so you won’t have to marry me.”</p><p>She laughs boisterously, wrapping an arm around Jongdae’s shoulders and leaning in. “Well, of course. I won’t lie. But I want you to have happiness as well. With you leaving, it would mean we’re both free from this. What’s to lose from that?”</p><p>Jongdae hums sarcastically. “Oh, I don’t know - the entire fate of the kingdom?”</p><p>“Damn the kingdom,” Jieun says, scowling as she releases her grip on him. “Haven’t you heard of a new trend taking over the southern kingdoms? It’s called democracy. We could try it.”</p><p>“<i>Damn the kingdom?</i>” Jongdae repeats, eyes wide, though a smile lights his face all the same. “Wow. What happened to us? We used to be the ideals. Our parents bragged about us to their lesser friends. We were smart, dutiful, respectful-”</p><p>“Weak,” Jieun adds. “Pushovers. Idiots who were easily manipulated into thinking we had a certain responsibility to carry out just because of the families we were born into.” </p><p>Jongdae chuckles, shaking his head at her. </p><p>“The point is,” she says, “we need to think for ourselves. You need to think for yourself. I know you want to leave with him.”</p><p>“I do,” Jongdae says with a deep sigh. “There’s nothing more I want.”</p><p>“Well, what are you waiting for? Go to him, then.”</p><p>“You know very well that I can’t.”</p><p>“But you can,” she says, leaning in, a soft smile on her lips. “Trust in me. I have a plan.” </p><p>“A plan?”</p><p>“I’ll cover for you,” she says. “You’ve got to be sneaky though. Get him and get out as fast as you can. Think you can do that?”</p><p>And suddenly, a barrage of thoughts invade Jongdae’s mind. A sense of thrill runs through him, simply from the very idea of doing this, of leaving his entire life, of going against his upbringing. He can’t say he’ll miss it, especially if he has Baekhyun by his side. </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He knocks thrice, as quiet as he can.</p><p>The padding of footsteps can be heard from inside the room, until the hefty door swings open. It reveals Baekhyun, standing before him in a nightgown, hair all mussed up, and Jongdae sighs in a way akin to bless. He’ll get to see this everyday for the rest of his life. </p><p>“Prince?” Baekhyun gasps, mouth parting in mild shock. </p><p>Jongdae ushers himself in, pushing Baekhyun aside slightly to close the door behind them. “It’s Jongdae,” he says. “I’ve changed my mind.”</p><p>The older furrows his brows. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Let’s go. Let’s leave, tonight.” </p><p>Baekhyun’s face falls in realization. His eyes are blown wide, the makings of a smile on his lips. “You mean it?”</p><p>Jongdae can’t do anything but nod, hands holding Baekhyun’s cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he says, “for making you think I didn’t care.”</p><p>“No, I’m sorry. I was selfish and I honestly can’t believe I said that I wanted you to choose me over your people.”</p><p>“Well, I’m doing it anyway, aren’t I?” He smiles at the grin on Baekhyun’s face, the pure adoration that flows from him. </p><p>“Tonight?” Baekhyun asks, voice teetering with excitement.</p><p>“Tonight.”</p><p>“We’ve got to pack.”</p><p>“That we do.”</p><p>“We - we’ve got to plan where to go, and how we’ll leave without them noticing-”</p><p>“Already have,” Jongdae says with a grin. Baekhyun chuckles in disbelief, coming in for a quick peck on the younger’s lips. </p><p>“I love you,” he says, quick and out of nowhere. “God, I love you.”</p><p>Jongdae’s heart stutters. He becomes a little too aware of the way it thumps in his chest, hearing it in his ears, feeling it in his bones. </p><p>“I love you too,” he says, finally. </p><p>“We’ve got to be fast, alright? You have to meet me by the gardens, under the gazebo in half an hour, and from then on we’ll sneak past the guards over the gate.”</p><p>“Can we bring Madrigal?” Baekhyun asks, hopeful, smile still plastered on his face.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>Baekhyun half sobs, half laughs then, looking close to tears as he pulls Jongdae in for a bone crushing hug. In a fit of giddiness, he pecks all along his neck, making his way to Jongdae’s cheeks, to his forehead, anywhere his lips can reach. Jongdae laughs, chest rumbling with joy.</p><p>“You seem happier that I said we can bring the dog than when I said we’ll leave together.”</p><p>“Shut up and kiss me,” Baekhyun says, finally bringing their lips together for a proper, slow kiss. Jongdae struggles to get words in between Baekhyun’s very insistent kisses, smiling against his lips. </p><p>“We have to - <i>ah</i> - get - <i>damn it, Baekhyun</i> - ready.”</p><p>Baekhyun finally releases him, hands held firmly at the sides of his face. He leans in for one last peck, earning a groan from Jongdae. </p><p>“Done?” Jongdae teases. Baekhyun laughs, nodding. </p><p>“Until next time, anyway,” he says. </p><p>“Alright,” Jongdae murmurs. He steps away from Baekhyun, opening the bedroom door so he can walk out. “You have to pack up. Remember. Half an hour. Be there.”</p><p>“I will,” Baekhyun assures. When Jongdae is halfway out of the door, Baekhyun abruptly pulls him into him without warning to plant yet another deep kiss, hand at the back of his head. </p><p>“You’re insatiable,” Jongdae says when they part, faces inches away. Baekhyun grins. </p><p>“Get used to it,” Baekhyun says softly, smirking.  </p><p>With that, Jongdae closes the door behind him, heart leaping. He stands there for a while to recollect himself, to come to terms with the fact that he is doing this. He honestly feels as if he’s going to vomit from the pure thrill of it all, but not in a terribly bad way. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The moon is looking unordinarily bright tonight. Brighter than usual. Jongdae takes it as a good sign. That he’s doing the right thing for himself. </p><p>Madrigal weaves around his legs, rubbing his fur against Jongdae’s trousers and eventually resting by his feet with his head placed sweetly on his toes. Jongdae chuckles, reaching down to ruffle his head. </p><p>For the time Jongdae’s been waiting - approximately fifteen minutes - he’s been thinking. He’s already planned some. They’re to head east, where he knows a small village is settled some hundred miles away. It might be a long walk, but maybe they can pay some nice travelers to take them a portion of the way. They can stop along the way as well, resting at kind commoners’ homes. Jongdae feels giddy just thinking about it. About the life he’s about to begin with Baekhyun. </p><p>He imagines them buying a small little home in that village. He imagines starting a little farm, maybe, where Madrigal can run through the fields. Baekhyun of course would have a garden, tending to it with a smile everyday and selling bouquets at the market. </p><p>Jongdae grins to himself. He can’t wait.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Baekhyun, however, seems intent on making him wait. It’s been half an hour, and still no sign of the boy. Jongdae tries not to overthink, but with every minute that passes without him, Jongdae gets a little more on edge. </p><p>He now sits against the half-wall of the gazebo, pouting at Madrigal in his lap. Surely Baekhyun couldn’t take this long to prepare; he’d been too excited. </p><p>He runs his hand through Madrigal’s fur, dozens of unwanted thoughts invading his mind. He thinks, for a very brief second, that he’s been played. He’s a prince, after all. There’s much to gain from him. </p><p>He brushes that off quickly, ashamed. He should not doubt Baekhyun. The fact that he did for even a second disgusts him, thinking back to the look in Baekhyun’s eyes whenever he sees him. Lit with happiness. Overjoyed. Not to mention the smile on his face, as genuine as you can get. </p><p>Thus brings on a whole new set of thoughts. Has something happened to him? Maybe he just got caught up in a conversation with someone along the way? </p><p>Or, maybe just caught. </p><p>It’s getting to him, this paranoia. He wills himself to calm down, as it's only been forty five minutes. </p><p>Forty five, however, turns into an hour and fifteen, and he’s standing up abruptly, shocking Madrigal out of his lap. </p><p>He’s on edge the entire time he makes his way up the stairs, jogging lightly so as not to make too much noise. He climbs another set of stairs quietly, but it is all in vain when a voice rings out on the staircase, and he halts.</p><p>“I’ve been looking for you everywhere, Jongdae!”</p><p>Jieun jogs up to him, running in her nightgown. Her eyes are worried, brows furrowed and lips frowning. </p><p>“What are you doing out of bed?” Jongdae asks.</p><p>“Something’s happened.”</p><p>And immediately, Jongdae’s heart falls. </p><p>“It’s Baekhyun,” Jieun whispers, fear causing her voice to come out hushed. “He was - he was taken to the dungeons. For - for being involved with you.”</p><p><i>The dungeons.</i> </p><p>The inevitable has arrived, and the only thing he can think of is how <i>stupid</i> he’s been. Panic wells up in him, fear rising like bile in his throat. </p><p>“How did they even know?” he says, hurried. Then, because he is frustrated and afraid - “Was this your plan? Is this funny to you?”</p><p>Jieun blinks, eyes widening. “Jongdae, I - I didn’t do this-”</p><p>“Really? Because you’re the only other person who knew about Baekhyun. You said you had a plan. This was your plan?”</p><p>There are the beginnings of tears welling up in Jieun’s eyes. She looks panicked, frantic, like she doesn’t know what to say next. “This was not my plan, nor my doing! How could you think I did this? The last thing I want is your misfortune! Please, you have to believe me. I’ve always wanted the best for you.”</p><p>Jongdae shuts his eyes and clenches his teeth, chest heaving. “Who did it then?” </p><p>“S-Sehun, the King’s guard,” she mutters. “I saw him following you and I had to stop him because I knew you were probably headed to Baekhyun’s so he would have seen - and, well, me trying to stop him only made him even more suspicious, and he pushed me off and… saw you two…” </p><p>Jongdae runs a hand through his hair, frustration welling up. He turns away from Jieun, clenching his teeth. </p><p>Careless, they’ve been so <i>careless</i>, too caught up in their happiness to realize who could have been watching. </p><p>“I need to tell you something, Dae,” she says quietly.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“Sehun twisted everything. He told them Baekhyun had forced himself onto you, that you didn’t want that kiss, that he’d seen it very clearly. T- they’ve charged him with assault.”</p><p>“Assault?” Jongdae says softly, a gasp. “But - assault on a person of high royal standing calls for-”</p><p>“A death sentence,” Jieun says, voice breaking as her gaze shoots to the floor. “I know. I’m so sorry.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You have to put an end to this.”</p><p>The King sits in a grand, elaborate chair pushed to the back of his desk. He peers up at Jongdae with his brows furrowed, resting the quill and parchment in his hands onto the table. He looks so utterly like a King, even in nightwear, as he practically glares at his son, the flames of the fireplace casting shadows along the side of his face. </p><p>“Have you forgotten how to knock?” he asks, voice gruff. </p><p>“I-I’m sorry, but please, you can’t do this.”</p><p>The King scoffs lowly, returning his attention to the quill and paper. “Do what, might I ask?”</p><p>“Baekhyun, he - he didn’t force himself onto me,” Jongdae says. He takes a deep breath, heart racing a mile a minute. “We’re together,” he murmurs. </p><p>His father starts to chuckle then, low rumbles from his chest as an indulgent grin replaces the frown. “I know,” he says. “I have always known.”</p><p>Jongdae is struck silent. He lifts his head to meet the King’s knowing eyes, and is frozen at the way they seem to pierce through him, the way they seem to know and unveil every last secret he has. </p><p>“You didn’t think you were actually going to get away with this, do you?” the King asks, tone hardening. “It makes me laugh. How you thought you were being clever and inconspicuous all this time.”</p><p>The prince’s eyes fall shut, his fist clenching. It’s true then, he’s been living in a dream all this time, and he’s just now waking up. Reality hurts far more than he expects, his chest constricting at his father’s harsh tone and patronizing words. </p><p>“I sent Sehun to follow you and put an end to this silly situation. I know about your late nights, about how you two meet up in the dead of night. This is for your own good, Jongdae.”</p><p>“You’re going to kill an innocent person,” Jongdae says through clenched teeth. </p><p>The King smiles then, and Jongdae doesn’t think he’s ever seen such evil in him. “I’m not. I can promise you that. As long as you abide to one thing. Just one thing, this is all I ask of you.”</p><p>He looks up, eyes snapping open. Whatever it is, it’s done, though he has an inkling of what it is already, and it makes his chest curl in on itself. “What is it?” he asks, voice glimmering with the hope of saving Baekhyun, yet quivering with a slight fear at the same time.</p><p>“Marry the princess,” he says, quick and blunt. “Forget about the servant.”</p><p>He can’t say he didn’t see it coming. He looks away, fist clenching yet again as he wills the curl in his chest to fade. This is it, he thinks. He should be tough enough by now to handle this. After an entire twenty years of being bossed around by his parents, he’d have thought that he would have thicker skin by this point. Apparently not, evident from the way the curl in his chest turns into a heart throbbing pain, sending shivers throughout his body. </p><p>“Done,” he says, hushed. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He’s not allowed to see him.</p><p>He doesn’t throw a fit at this.</p><p>Surprisingly, Jieun does. </p><p>“You have to let him see him just one last time!” Jieun yells defiantly. Jongdae doesn’t think he’s ever seen her like this, eyes flamed and hair falling from its bun. He wants her to stop. It hurts enough. </p><p>He’s drowning in guilt every time he sees her as well. She’s forced to succumb to this life because of a decision he made. She had told Jongdae, <i>”What, did you think I’d leave and let him die?”</i> but the guilt still lingered with him, knowing what he’s taking from her.</p><p>Jieun’s mother holds her shoulder back, trying to calm her. The princess doesn’t seem to want to listen. </p><p>“You - you can’t do this to him,” she says, a crack in her voice as she begins to settle. “Just one last time, please, let them meet.” </p><p>The King stands unwavering at the head of the court, tall and proud. Jongdae stands by the wall, back straight and head down. Like a good prince. </p><p>“I advise you to keep quiet, princess, unless you’d like a place in the dungeon as well,” the King says ruthlessly. </p><p>At this, Jieun’s mother panics, pulling her away as she thrashes. “You’re heartless!” Jieun calls, and Jongdae lets his eyes fall shut as he bites his lips, willing the tears away, her enraged voice pounding at his ears. “A poor excuse of a King!” Her angry shouts can be heard all along the way until her mother pulls her through the wide doors, gesturing for the guards to shut them quickly.</p><p>Over the sound of her muffled shouts, his father’s large shoes clack against the stone floor as he approaches him. Jongdae tenses, lifting his head to meet his strong gaze. </p><p>“If you go looking for him after the marriage,” he says, threatening, “I assure you it will not end well.”</p><p>Jongdae doesn’t respond, only keeps his head straight as the King walks away. When he’s gone, however, and Jongdae is alone in the room, his knees buckle, and he falls to the floor like he had wanted to all day, hands flying to his face. His cries echo through the empty room, and he is alone, left with the shadows that the sun casts into the hall.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Are you ready, your royal highness?” Kyungsoo calls into his room. </p><p>He will never be ready, but he has no choice. </p><p>Jongdae nods curtly, forcing a smile. Kyungsoo scoffs. </p><p>“Now, what sort of smile is that, prince? It’s your wedding day, for God’s sakes! Getting married to your best friend! Should be the happiest day of your life!” He walks into Jongdae’s room, assisting the man in fixing his wedding robes. </p><p>As far as Kyungsoo - and the rest of the castle - knows, Baekhyun is only a servant who had forcefully kissed Jongdae, and is now unemployed from the castle. As far as they know, this wedding is the best thing to ever happen to Jongdae. </p><p>He can’t stand the smiles on their faces, gazing up at him with such innocence and naivety as he stands at the front of the room.  He only hopes they don’t see the dread in his eyes, the frown hidden behind the fake smile. </p><p>Jieun has tears in her eyes as he stands across from her at the wedding. Onlookers would think it sweet, how emotional the bride is getting. Jongdae knows the truth behind the tears, and he wills her silently with his eyes that it will all be alright. That he’ll learn to be happy this way. He has her still, at least. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Baekhyun is set to leave the morning after. </p><p>Jongdae gets up at the crack of dawn. </p><p>He cannot meet Baekhyun still. He cannot give him Madrigal. But this will not stop him from just seeing him one last time. </p><p>The balcony that connects to his bedroom is small, and faced towards the castle’s gates. This he is thankful for, for it means he’ll get a clear view of him as he leaves, but now, as he stands waiting, he isn’t so sure if this would be more torture than it would be closure. </p><p>Finally, the sound of the doors opening fill his ears, and Jongdae scrambles to the edge of the balcony, looking down. </p><p>There he is. Led by two guards out of the castle. His frame slumps, back curved downward as he slugs his way across the path. </p><p>Jongdae can’t see his face, and it’s killing him. He’s not sure if he wants to; he almost figures that maybe it would be easier like this, to just let the boy go and try not to linger.</p><p>He’s panicking though, and the memory of the servant playing the piano abruptly comes to mind at the most inconvenient time. His chest constricts.</p><p><i>Look at me</i>, he pleads internally. <i>Please</i>. </p><p>He grows a little more numb with every step they take. Baekhyun has his head down, and his clothes are dirt ridden. Jongdae needs to see him. Just one last time.</p><p>
  <i>Turn around! Damn you, turn around! Look at me!</i>
</p><p>His heart screams. He is raging within, hands gripping too tightly onto the banister. He’s never felt such hopelessness, such despair. He lowers his face, eyes swelling up yet again at the thought that he is helpless.</p><p>And when he looks up, Baekhyun seems to turn in that precise moment, weary eyes meeting his own. </p><p>It’s cruel, the way his eyes are downturned and red. It’s agonizing, the way Baekhyun’s face seems to crumple at the sight of his prince. It’s bittersweet, the forced smile that makes its way onto his otherwise despaired face. Because until the very end, Baekhyun will be smiling for Jongdae in that same way he always did, bright and careless. Jongdae silently thanks him. Even if it is forced and laced with an undeniable sadness, his smile is the best thing to remember him by. </p><p>The guards push him along, and he is forced to face forwards again, leaving Jongdae with the smallest glimpse of his strained smile falling into a frown. The prince has half a mind to leap over the twenty foot high balcony and run to him, to hold him in his arms and beg him not to leave, to remind him of their promises. He could grab him by the hand and run out of the gates before anyone can stop them, and they would run until their feet bleed, until their chests are heaving. Then, when they’ve lost them, they’d turn and smile at each other, thankful, blessed, in love. </p><p>The reality is that Baekhyun moves forward without looking back, the guards besides him making sure of it. The reality is that the gates close behind him, sun rising softly behind the top of it and casting a yellow glow onto the land. The reality is, that Jongdae turns, and lets himself fall in a heap against the balcony’s wall, head upturned and away from the morning sun so as not to let it see the tears that run down his face.</p><p>He utters a soundless, broken goodbye through his lips, feeling his heart crumble in his chest.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>♔ ♔ ♔</p>
</div>Jongdae’s come to realize that, like artists, every gardener has their own style. Jongdae favors small flowers with soft colors, and likes to color coordinate rather than throwing all sorts of colors together in one bunch. He likes vines, and doesn’t bother cutting them down when it grows on the surface of the walls surrounding the garden because it looks rather pretty like that. He likes delicate, and subtle, and it shows over the year that he handles the garden on his own.<p>However, whenever he takes a look at the new garden, there’s a tinge of sadness in him that forces a bittersweet smile on his face at what once was. </p><p>He was crowned King today. </p><p>It was a large, and unnecessary, ceremony, first with the actual event of crowning Jongdae, then followed by a grand feast with all lords and noblemen of the kingdom. Jongdae’s cheeks hurt from smiling all day at them, forced to maintain eye contact and provide witty, clever conversation. The former King, Jongdae’s father, had ended the event with a clap on his shoulder, claiming his son with pride. Jongdae had tried not to shiver. </p><p>Jieun had been forced to converse with the wives. It turned out to be entertaining to the rest, for she was bolder than the ladies and brought up topics of conversation no lady would dare ever do, causing laughter amongst their group, as well as some shocked faces and dainty hands on chests in disturbance. She was the life of the party. If Jongdae didn’t know better he’d have thought she was born for this life.</p><p>Except she wasn’t, and she found great boredom in leading a kingdom the old fashioned way. So she laced up her boots every now and then, threw on trousers, and rode a horse into the town, where she ruled the kingdom in a different, and perhaps friendlier, way. She made friends with the commoners, sometimes buying their artwork at the market, or she played ball with the children, teaching them manners and respect at the same time. She was happy for the most part, and she encouraged Jongdae to be so as well. Jongdae admires her, how she made the most out of the situation. He admires the way she doesn’t let anything get in the way of her living. He does think he needs to learn a thing or two from her. </p><p>Still, she was keeping secrets from him. She sends letters out of the castle, but not by their messenger. She sends them through her handmaiden, who dons clothing similar to a commoner to sneak into the town and send them. She receives letters as well. Jongdae only caught a glimpse of the broken wax seal once, on her desk. A dark blue crescent moon. </p><p>He’s never asked her about it, and he doesn’t plan to. She has a right to her privacy as much as he does. </p><p>It’s midnight now. Just about everyone’s gone back home. That, or they’re staying in the castle for the night. Nonetheless, the stone halls are empty, leaving Jongdae to roam through it as he pleases. </p><p>His feet had brought him to the garden, and this is where he now stands, amidst the rows and bunches of flowers, bushes and trees. He’s had the area expanded as well, to make room for Madrigal to run through so he doesn’t go stepping all over the smaller flowers. He doesn’t have a clue where the little pup is, so he takes his spot under the gazebo, arms crossed against the railing. </p><p>The moon looks like it always does - bright against the pitch dark sky, glowing across the earth below. At first, it was a bit hard to come out and bear the quiet that now seems to follow Jongdae wherever he goes, but it seems to most unbearable here. Even if the moon had not changed, Jongdae has. </p><p>He’s stopped constantly living in a bubble, in a world where he can pretend he isn’t who he is. He’s taken on responsibilities he hasn’t before, having to mature fast after marrying. This doesn’t mean, however, that he doesn’t like to visit the moon every now and again. To close his eyes and soak in the familiarity, the melancholic feel he gets from the wind brushing across his skin. The faint smell of soil, the cool air. It’s all vaguely reminiscent of a past he’d once had. All he can do now is smile in fondness. </p><p>He steps away from the gazebo, robe trailing behind him as he walks to a certain patch of grass he’s kept clear for good reason. He lays upon it, on only one side, arms spread wide against the ground. He blows air through his lips noisily, eyes catching a shooting star as it blazes across the sky. </p><p>He’s happy, for the most part. He thinks he’d been overdramatic before about marrying Jieun, for she’s made it clear that she expects nothing out of him, that she <i>wants</i> nothing out of him. When he’s not handling the affairs of the kingdom (and he almost always is), he’s in the garden, or out shooting arrows with his guard, Chanyeol. There are times he sneaks out of the castle dressed in raggedy clothes, just to take a peek at the performers playing in the plaza that day. Sometimes he is recognized, but instead of the expected reaction, he is silently thanked for his hard work. And he realizes maybe it isn’t all in vain. </p><p>But at night, it all hits him like a wave, what’s missing. He can’t deny he yearns for him. He can’t deny that he thinks about that break of dawn where they’d separated, the look Baekhyun had sent him, hopeful and forcefully bright. It had broken him, and it still does send a sharp pang through his heart whenever he recalls the memory. </p><p>He chooses to look back fondly tonight. He hopes he’s doing well. He hopes he’s got a small little home in some village a hundred miles away, hopes he’s got a garden going and selling his bouquets at the market. </p><p>A tear rolls down his cheek before he can stop it, but it’s not out of sadness. It’s of gratefulness, of thanks for the gardener who had shoved his way into his life. Were he here now, he’d likely be poking fun at Jongdae’s new position, bowing dramatically and teasing him. He misses him. More than anything, he misses him, and it’s as simple as that, really. The only thing that gives him even the slightest bit of comfort is the fact that they are looking up at the same moon. He hopes Baekhyun thinks of him this way too, as a love he won’t forget.</p><p>His heart blooms at the mere memory of him, and how he’d changed him for the better. Before him, he was just a boy who’d stayed within the lines his whole life and kept his troubles to himself. He broke rules for him, taught him what it meant to truly live, if only for a brief moment. Were it not for him, Jongdae would have never had a taste of normalcy, of a love so heart wrenching that it stung every nerve in his body. It still does, to this day. But it’s alright. He believes it makes him a stronger person.</p><p>He had never been one to listen to his heart. Now, under the glistening crescent moon, he listens to it wholeheartedly. </p><p>It tells him they’ll meet again. Whether by fate or chance, they’ll meet again.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>♔ ♔ ♔</p>
</div><i>Don’t ever forget the truth, that I was by your side. Don’t erase my heart, that could sacrifice everything for you. I will wait for you, in the same place, at the same time.</i><div class="center">
  <p>♔ ♔ ♔</p>
</div>”You’re mad!” Jongdae calls.<p>“For you,” is Baekhyun’s cheeky reply, wading even further into the river. “Coming in or not?” </p><p>Jongdae twists the hem of his tunic in his fingers, wrenching at the fabric as he shuffles his feet. It is awfully tempting, the gush of the bubbling stream. Baekhyun turns to face him, smile lighting up his face.</p><p>“What are you waiting for?” he yells, hands cupped around his mouth. </p><p>Jongdae makes a frustrated groan. On a whim, before he can change his mind, he lets his foot fall into the stream, testing its depth. What he really needed to have worried about however was the abnormally low temperature of the water, the icy feel of it sending jolts through his veins. He yelps, and Baekhyun laughs, making his way over. </p><p>“It’s freezing!” Jongdae says. He’s just pulling his foot out when Baekhyun leans over abruptly to grab at the younger’s hand, pulling him into the water until he’s waist deep. </p><p>Jongdae sends an accusatory glare to him, feeling shivers run up his spine - though he doubts it’s from the cold of the water. </p><p>With an assuring smile, Baekhyun leads Jongdae deeper, into the middle of the stream. Jongdae grumbles about his wet clothes, to which the older only responds with a tightening of his hand in his. </p><p>When he finally turns to face him, they’re chest deep into the river, the water causing the fabric of their clothes stick to them in the most uncomfortable way. Jongdae begins to fidget, pulling at his tunic to unstick it from his chest, but then Baekhyun is wrapping a gentle hand around his cheek. It catches the prince off guard, and he looks up at Baekhyun curiously. He expects to see a grin playing on his lips there, something mischievous and lively. What’s there instead is a soft smile, fond, lips curled up in the most innocent way. His eyes are filled with depth, warm when they gaze at Jongdae with the utmost sincerity. </p><p>“What is it?” Jongdae asks. Baekhyun shakes his head, tilting it to the side like he’s contemplating something. </p><p>“I’m just thankful,” he says quietly, more of a breath than words spoken, “that you’re in my life.”</p><p>Jongdae shuffles under his intense gaze, darting his eyes away when it becomes a little too overwhelming. “Well, me too,” he says. </p><p>Baekhyun’s smile grows a little wider before he’s dropping his hand into the water, only to grab at Jongdae’s beneath the surface. And he’s looking at him with that gaze again, the one that makes him shiver all over. He’s leaning in, and Jongdae moves forward to meet him halfway, lips brushing his in a promise, a hopeful kiss that speaks more than their words ever could. </p><p>It should be just like this, always. Baekhyun and Jongdae, in their little corner of the world, the sun shining in a way that’s meant just for them, orange and casting its light through the canopy of the trees. This, this little moment, frozen for eternity and written in the stars because it’s so utterly pure, so authentic, of such heart warming depth when the prince and the gardener stand with not an inch between them. All they know is that they’re to stand together like this, like they both exist just for this moment. </p><p>Come high or hellwater, this piece of time will be engraved in their hearts for eternity, because the love they share could withstand anything, utterly unbreakable. Untouchable. </p><p>Baekhyun kisses him again once more before they part, a playful smile on his face. He pulls back, that same soft grin playing on his lips, looking utterly innocent, until he splashes water at the prince, who defends himself with nothing but his hands, a baffled expression on his face.</p><p>Baekhyun runs on, trudging through the water to escape from him, and Jongdae follows as laughter rises from his chest. </p><p>“You arse!” Jongdae calls.</p><p>“You love me,” the older responds cheekily, coming in closer to mend things with a giant hug. Jongdae thinks, as he continues to cling to him sweetly, that Baekhyun’s never been more right. And with that, he forgives him easily, nestling his head in between his neck and shoulder and breathing in this moment, living in it, and remembering it, for as long as he possibly can. </p><p>He saves it for a rainy day, because he know the time will come, but it’s alright, because it will all be worth it.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>♔ ♔ ♔</p>
</div><i>I will wait for you in the same place, at the same time. You can always come to me, back to your place.</i><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Your majesty.”</p><p>Jongdae rips his gaze away from the moon. The courtier stands before him, looking sheepish at having bothered the king. He holds something in his hand. </p><p>“A letter’s arrived for you.” </p><p>He holds it out, and Jongdae — confused — steps forward to take it. It’s a parchment letter, sealed by wax that appears to be shaped in the form of the… crescent moon. </p><p>When Jongdae flips the letter, his name is scrawled on the back and — the handwriting makes his heart stutter. He recognizes it from nights in the garden, from nights of a certain someone’s fingers tracing over Jongdae’s skin, ghosting letters into his skin, declaring his love with his fingertips. </p><p>“When did this come in?” Jongdae asks, chest thundering dangerously. </p><p>“Just tonight, my king.”</p><p>Jongdae dismisses his courtier with trembling fingers, letter shaking in his palm. He breaks the wax seal, and is met with the dry, pressed petals of a rose. A few escape, falling onto the ground, but Jongdae pays them no mind. Instead, he focuses on the letter beneath.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>♔ ♔ ♔</p>
</div><i>my dearest prince,</i><p>
  <i>as the sun rose, we were forced to part. when the moon takes its place, i’ll find you again. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>it won’t be too long now.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>wait for me.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading! comments and kudos always appreciated.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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